photo by TheNaughtyAmerican.com

One of our female friends currently in college, who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make:

I watch porn. That’s right, I said it: Porn. It’s a word that, among females especially, can be pretty taboo. Watching porn is simply not the ladylike thing to do; it’s for ball-scratching, horny men, right? Well I say wrong. Not only do I watch porn, but I enjoy it. And to be completely honest, I think that most other women do too but are scared to admit it.

The first time I ever watched porn it was an accident. I found it on my brother’s computer when I double-clicked on the wrong file and got a full frontal surprise. I was appalled; this was perverse. I wish I could say the shock immediately turned my head, but it didn’t. I watched it and by the end I shamefully thought it was kind of hot. I certainly never told anyone I had seen it and just brushed it under the rug as a moment of misbehavior.

As I got older and more sexually active, I found my curiosity about what goes on beneath the sheets broaden. I began searching up porn sites like fuckvideos xxx and watching on my laptop with headphones late at night in secret, feeling like a rebel. That’s definitely one of the appeals for me: its forbidden nature. But that’s not all:

I like porn because I imagine myself in the situation and that gives me a thrill. I think about doing the things I see on the screen with the real person I’m currently in lust with.

I like porn because it’s taught me about some of the things that men like, techniques that turn them on. (I learned most of what I know about how to give a blowjob from watching it). Yes, in many cases porn focuses too much on the man’s pleasure, but there is porn out there that focuses on what women enjoy. Lesbian porn can actually be great for this if you’re comfortable watching two women, which I am — not because I’ve ever been attracted to another woman, but because I find the focus on women’s pleasure personally satisfying.

I like porn because it shows me the range of fetishes men and women can indulge in, which gives me different ideas about how to be creative in the bedroom.

And I like porn because I get a kick out of the surprise that men have when I tell them I enjoy it — it excites them.

The first time I admitted it to a guy — my boyfriend — I was nervous, afraid he would find it weird or gross that a girl, especially his girlfriend, was entertained and turned on by something that so many see as vile and grotesque. He wasn’t. As a matter of fact, he thought it was really hot. I eased my way through the conversation, hoping to convince him that this was just a facet of my kinky side and not a borderline nymphomaniac obsession. He got it.

I eventually brought up the idea of watching porn together and he agreed without hesitation. We picked a night and browsed the internet for something and immediately found that our tastes differed: I preferred something a little slower moving, something sensual that built up anticipation until you were about to explode, while he liked to get right to point with actors who seemed like they just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. We eventually found something that appealed to both of us. In fact, a quick tip here: we discovered that the first time you’re watching porn with a partner (or even the first time you are watching it alone) something with a silly plotline serves as a good icebreaker — laughing helps ease the tension.

We lay in bed together and watched a young innocent type slowly revealing her naughty side as we slowly revealed our own. The porn created this amazing tension between us as we struggled to keep our hands off of each other. Eventually we gave in when we literally could not resist each other anymore. It was intense and hot in that raw, predator way. I loved every minute of it and so did he.

In our case, porn was a great bonding experience. Aside from the mind-blowing sex, we really learned what turned each other on. We were able to satisfy each other’s lust in a new way. The things I saw in porn and wanted to try but never mentioned are now feasible since we’re sharing the same reference point. My dirty little secret has become ours and that’s brought us closer together.