Top 10 Date Activities I Enjoy Solo

Our contributor Abby Spector, who is majoring in Feminine/Gender/Sexuality Studies at Wesleyan University, confesses her love for the table for one:

People are impressed if you travel to Africa on your own, but if your solo adventuring is a tad less exotic, they tend to look down on it. It is considered “bizarre” to enjoy typical “date activities” on your own. I am here to teach disbelievers otherwise. I actually like flying solo — so keep your pity and learn some independence. Here are ten of my favorite “date” adventures to enjoy on my own. (Note to readers: all of these adventures are fun with a partner, too. I am just pointing out the benefits of doing them by yourself.)

  1. Orgasms. Sex is great. The sweaty, body-on-body companionship is irreplaceable. However, when it comes to the actual, vaginal orgasm, my vibrator cannot be beat.
  2. Movies. Your choice of flick. Your choice of time. Your choice of seat (no need to crane your neck in the front row because your date forgot his glasses). And best of all, you can pick the quantity of butter on the popcorn.
  3. Sleeping. Sleeping in the same bed as someone is nice. Sweaty, sticky, single-beds are not. Every once in a while it is refreshing to sprawl across the mattress like a cat on Valium.
  4. Restaurants. Feel free to sop up entire bowls of pasta with a piece of bread. Challenge yourself by not bringing a book, computer or newspaper. Enjoy staring at strangers. Watch the child at the next table rub mashed potatos on the walls and be happy you are not responsible of clean up.
  5. TV watching. You can Keep Up with the Kardashians and the rest in the world of shitty television without being berated about how you should be watching something important or educational or artsy instead.
  6. Road Trips. Find your own path WHILE singing Now 6 at the top of your lungs. Best of all, you can take pee breaks every twenty minutes without worrying that you are derailing someone else’s adventure.
  7. Drinking wine. It might sound sad (or alcoholic) but a glass (or bottle) on your own is good for the soul…. every now and then.
  8. Weddings. As much as I enjoy having a plus 1, being on your own at a wedding gives you time to catch up with crazy drunken family members on a personal level.
  9. Biking. It is not a competition if you’re by yourself. (And you don’t have to worry about how your ass looks in your mom’s old neon-pink gym shorts.)
  10. Showering. Okay. I understand that this is not (necessarily) a first date activity. But it happens. Let me tell you — showering by yourself in a frameless glass shower is a luxury. You control temperature, water pressure, and which crevices the bar of soap is allowed to explore. In addition, showers can be small. Slips happen. The idea of sex is appealing, but it doesn’t logistically work unless you enjoy the pain of a sprained ankle.


  1. I often enjoy going to one of my local bars and treating myself to a meal and a couple of beers. It’s good to just please yourself sometimes.

  2. If showering is an “adventure”, I’m obviously not doing right.

    My gut reaction is that this seems like a list written by someone who doesn’t spend much time alone. Perpetually single people have probably done most of these things alone.

  3. definitely with you on 3 and 5 ;0) before living with my BF I never appreciated the joy of getting control of the remote or really spreading out in bed so now on the rare occasions I get a chance i relish this :0)

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