Do It Tonight! Fake First-Date Confidence

twilight_first_datephoto via dutchtl

Confidence — as opposed to swollen-headed cockiness — is always sexy, and especially so on a date. You know how guys are always complaining that women ignore the nice guys in favor of bad boys who never call them back? Well, perhaps women aren’t just masochists who want to be walked all over; perhaps they simply appreciate the confidence that so-called bad boys tend to have in spades. Also, we suspect that a lot of jelly-spined, no-opinion, lacklustre guys tend to ignore their own faults and just blame it on women disliking “nice” guys. (And for the record, we should note that plenty of wussy women are guilty of the same sort of thing. e.g maybe he’s not, actually, an asshole for not calling her back; maybe she was just really quiet and boring.)

Little old ladies should be “nice.” Your Saturday night date should rock your world. And that takes confidence.

Whether you’re a nice boy or a nice girl, if you’re cursed with the first-date jitters, do whatever it takes to calm your nerves. Maybe it’s a yoga class, your lucky underwear, 100 jumping jacks, a certain location (e.g. a bar with a pool table where your stick skills will shine), a mantra chanted into the mirror, a pre-date shot with a good friend who will blow smoke up your ass, the perfect pair of jeans, a sneaky masturbation session…

If all else fails, just fake it. Remember, the person on the other side of the table is on a first date, too, so they’re probably too busy trying to fake their own confidence to notice if your act is a bit wobbly.