One of the most common letters we get from straight men writing into our advice column — right after “How can I safely enlarge my penis?” — is “How can I convince my girlfriend to have a threeway?” Unfortunately, guys, nagging is never going to get her in the mood to invite her roommate into bed with you. Remember, all three parties have to be equally gung-ho for a threeway to work — not to mention totally secure, issue-free, and ideally bi.

Instead of pouting, here’s a better idea: Why not try a little role-playing instead and have a pretend threeway tonight? Talking and fantasizing together about an intimate encounter with your hottie mail carrier or your local news anchor can be pretty steamy. Plus, in a fantasy threeway, no one gets an elbow in the eye — and there’s no awkward post-coital coffee talk, either.

And, hey, you never know — testing the waters like this just might get your partner in the mood for something a little more…fleshy.