Dream Interpretation: My Ex Keeps Rejecting Me

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I always have dreams about my ex-boyfriend. It’s been 3 years since I was with him, and have been seeing my current boyfriend for 2 years. I am happy with my current partner, much happier then I was with my ex. However, I always have dreams involving my ex. I am always hot for him, we are often alone, and it’s almost always sexual, but he constantly turns me down. Sometimes he just walks through my dreams. But either way he is always there! What do my dreams mean? I am so happy right now and I don’t miss my ex at all!!

Lauri: The ex is a very common dream visitor. Ask all your friends and I’ll bet they tell you they dream of their exes also. Why so common? Well, it’s usually the first love or the one that did us the most wrong that we dream about the most, because of the deep impact of the feelings they caused within us: excitement and passion or pain and regret.

The ex will make an appearance in our dreams when something is causing us to experience similar feelings or when we need to bring those feelings back into our current life. For example when our current relationship becomes a bit too routine, the first love will show up in dreamland to remind us of the passion we desire. Or if the ex was abusive or broke your heart, he may make an appearance when you are feeling rejected or beat down in waking life. You see, it’s not so much about the ex, but more about the feelings that are attached to him.

In your case, your ex keeps turning you down. That is an interesting twist on the ex dream. It’s important to remember that your dreams are always commenting on the present, what is happening in your life, and what is affecting you at the present time. In what way are you feeling rejected in your waking life? Or what do you feel you aren’t getting?

The ex represents that which you want or need but don’t have. It could be that there is something from that old relationship that your current relationship needs. Or it could be more about you. What were you like when you were with your ex? Do you need any of that old you right now? Or is there anything about him, his personality, his way of doing things, his attitude that would benefit you if you incorporated that behavior or personality trait into your own self? Or perhaps there is something YOU need to reject. Anything that you can’t seem to let go of? Anything that still bothers you? Your dream may be telling you to reject it, as it is not welcome nor helpful to your current life.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!


  1. Why do I have multiple dreams of me trying to get my ex and my ex always rejecting me constantly throughout my dream

  2. do you think there may be a metal or spirtual connection on some level with the ex and we are somehow communicating in the dreams sometimes?

    I have this hunch because i have had dreams forwarn me of an upcoming events (dreams not related to my ex) that come true so there is definatley some real connection in some of my dreams but i’m not sure about the dreams i have about my ex lover.

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