How to Convince Two (Straight) Guys to Have a Threeway

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “How can I can convince two hetero dudes to have a threeway with me?”

Straight Married Guy (Ben): What you really need to do is figure out if the MMF threeway is a “Yes,” a “No,” or a “Maybe” for these guys. Yes? No problem — go for it. No? it’s never going to happen – stop wasting your time. Maybe? Well, then it’s negotiable. And, while it’s easiest just to come out and ask, you can also test the waters by sharing “a sexy dream you had,” or confessing a fantasy after a few drinks. Truth or Dare can be a good gateway game to finding out who’s a “Maybe.”

The “Maybes” are the ones that need convincing, and what that really means is setting some ground rules. Maybe it’s no guy/guy touching. Maybe it’s lots of touching but no kissing. Maybe it’s only one cock visible at a time. Whatever. If it’s a “Maybe” for your guy, the question becomes, “What do you need to make this threesome happen?” And that is a question that can be answered.

Straight Single Guy (Max): Barring the possibility that you could trick these “hetero” dudes into your lair (using beer, snacks or Ahnold movies) I’d say that your best bet is to try and wiggle your way into the arms of two friends or, even better, the bromance. Face it: a lot of guys go by the super homophobic rule of “as long as the balls don’t touch,” so you’re much better off finding two guys that are as comfortable with one another’s body as they are with their joint egos. After that, your best policy is honesty. You can’t be coy about getting two guys at the same time, so I’d say be up front: “If you boys want me, you’re going to have to share. I’ll be in that room. Come find me?” Oh, and please end any threeway with a lot of high fives. They’re free, and you deserve it.

Gay Committed Guy (Mark):

1. Get them drunk.
2. If that doesn’t work, you’re on your own. And when you find out, let me know.
3. “Dudes”?

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles. Our Committed Gay Guy, Mark, is a writer and teacher in NYC, and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New England. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. Discovery: Ouch, you’re totally right! We would never DREAM of publishing advice telling guys to get women drunk so they’ll have a threeway (at least, not without a major Editor’s Note saying this is totally rapey). So even though this was a little tongue in cheek advice from a gay guy, we should say: Yes, it’s okay to gently talk a guy out of some misconceived homophobic notion, it’s not okay to get him drunk so he’ll do something he’ll feel crappy about in the morning. 🙂

  2. The term convincing reeks of coercion although most of the advice is pretty genuine. Barring, of course, the rapey tone of “get them drunk”. Sad.

  3. I’ve had this argument on this site before – there’s nothing “super homophobic” about avoiding ball-on-ball contact. Some of us just find that gross, not on an ideological level, but on a sensory one.

    In fact, I think it’s a bit homophobic to insist that the MMMF threesome isn’t a little gay. I mean come on, it’s two thirds gay. So what? Why is that such a problem for guys who are drawn to the act? Why do guys in the MMF threesome need to be SUCH hetero bros as to defend their total straightness even after popping a boner and rubbing their balls against another man’s balls?

    There’s nothing wrong with moving a few steps toward the gay end of the spectrum. If everyone had fun and no one got hurt, then great!

    … and if you’re not into that, because you really just don’t feel comfortable with pretty-gay mmf threesomes, that’s ok too. It doesn’t make you super homophobic.

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