Trump Puts Voldemort in Charge of the Department of Harry Potter

Here’s the anti-LGBTQ Christian activist Trump put in charge of the Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Civil Rights (OCR), an office Roger Severino himself has previously fought over things like women’s and gay people’s access to health care, prohibitions against discrimination based on gender and orientation, trans-rights, the list goes on.

We’re convinced Trump selects all his appointees based solely on whether it will offend and harm those who didn’t vote for him. He really is just fucking with 70% of the country. If we had any of these departments, here’s who Trump would have head them up:

Dept of Women’s Anatomy and Pleasure > The Pope
Dept of Interracial Relations > Richard Spencer
Dept of Harry Potter > Voldemort
Dept of Successful, Non-Creepy Marriages > Tom Cruise
Dept of Unicorns > The Red Bull from “The Last Unicorn”
Dept of Modesty > Kim Kardashian
Dept of Humility > Kanye West
Dept of Literature > Capt. Beatty from “Fahrenheit 451”
Dept of Child Protection > any Sandusky
Dept of Aging Gracefully > Donatella Versace
Dept of Medical Prescriptions > Michael Jackson’s doctor
The Anti-Bullying Dept > all the Heathers
Dept of Spelling > Dan Quayle
Dept of Earth Science > Kyrie Irving
Dept of Rape Prevention > Bill Cosby
Dept of Underdogs > Johnny “Sweep the Leg” Lawrence