Will the Real Elena Kagan Please Stand Up?

Image by Charles Fettinger

We have mixed feelings about Maureen Dowd: on the one hand she is a totally awesome butt-kicking columnist who can swing with the big boys while pointing out how many of them are actually just whiny little boys. But on the other hand, she seems to phone it in a lot these days. That said, her recent columns about Elena Kagan have made us swoon again. First, in response to the White House statement that the rumors about Kagan being gay were false charges (who knew that being called gay was a “charge”?!): Her Supremely Girly Girl column channels Joe Biden in a letter to Obama supporters, sharing details about Kagan such as, “She never watches the Rachel Maddow show. By 9 p.m., Elena’s usually snuggled up in bed in a lacy peach peignoir, scrawling “Mrs. George Clooney” in the margins of Blackstone’s Commentaries.” Also, “Ignore those wicked whispers about her sexual orientation. I cannot categorically assure you that she never flirted with another young woman when she was at Princeton. But I can categorically assure you that if she did, it would only have been to impress the cute guy in her Philosophy 101 seminar.” It would be funnier if it wasn’t so sad, and this line is truly heart-wrenching: “Elena is anything but a history-making, barrier-breaking, proud, strong, happy gay woman. She’s a garden-variety, sad, scary, single, childless career woman who can’t get a man because she’s too smart, works too much and refuses to settle.”

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One Comment

  1. Why does anyone even care about her sex life or what her orientation is? I want to know her positions on the pressing legal issues in our country! You know, the stuff that actually affects how she does her job?

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