Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “How do men feel about watching porn with a partner? Is it sexy? High pressure? Awkward? Distracting?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Married Guy (David Jacobs): Can’t say I watch it much… with the ol’ lady, that is! (My many girlfriends all love it.) Guess I’m just old-fashioned — I’ve always thought of it as strictly masturbation material. Which is not to say you can’t jack-off in the company of your partner but (again, I’m old-fashioned!) why bother when you could actually have sex with each other instead?
Would I categorically oppose the idea? No, of course not. I’m game for most things, but I think our boudoir would have to get a little more boring before I suggested it. Right now, with two little kids, time constraints and exhaustion pose a greater threat to our sex life than a lack of novelty. But hey, I know the knock on marriage, so I’m sure that’s coming too! And when it does, let’s just hope Netflix decides to start streaming straight-up nasty porn as part of its $8/month service, so we don’t go into the hole (financially).
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): As a queer man, watching hd porn movies with my partner would probably be downright HAWT. It’s just a way to prime the pump. For heterosexual couples, I suppose it is more awkward if the two partners aren’t totally open about what turns them on and aren’t particularly open about exploring. So the only way to make it hot and low-pressure is to be open and honest about turn-ons and expectations. Sounds simple because it is.
Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): I just recently happened upon this insightful article and thought it relevant enough to include. With continually growing access to and acceptance of porn, it follows that it might be integrating into couples’ routines as much as it always has with oneself. Being less taboo can correspond to less awkward, and being less
of a novelty can mean less pressure. I’ve found that porn can actually serve as a positive distraction from the occasional physical roadblock or mental hangup in a sesh that might otherwise threaten to derail it. Oh, and is porn with a partner sexy? Hell. Yes.
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Me and my boyfriend (I’m a girl) tried it once and we just couldn’t stop laughing! We both watch quite a lot of porn when the other isn’t there and we’re both cool with that, but together, we were just laughing too hard!
Tried it before – basically it was just sex, and there happened to be porn playing in the background.
Eh… not that hot. It’s kind of a distraction. I’d do it if my girl wanted to, but I probably wouldn’t suggest it.
Eh, tried it a couple times, neither me nor the boyfriend were fans. He’d much rather look at me (or made it seem like he did) and it was kind of awkward ( I didn’t want to seem too interested, or rather more interested in porn than him).
I might do it again in a far away future if we needed a serious kick in the pants, but mainly it’s something that’s just very awkward to do together for us, alone good, together bad.
If I were to do it again (which I’m not) I’d show a fun, campy clip say “we can do it better than that!” and drag him to the bedroom.