Casual Sex
Your Call
Should She Lose Her Virginity to a Married Man?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.  I am a 26-year old black female who […]

How To
7 Must-Have Handbag Items for Spontaneous Casual Sex

Straight ladies, if there’s any chance your evening will end up in a sleepover, transform your purse into a make-shift washbag. Even if there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell you’ll be getting nooky tonight, carry these items with you anyway — because the best hook-ups happen when you least expect them. Compact ballet flats. […]

Say Amything
How to Have a One-Night Stand (When You Don’t Really Want To)

When we last left Amy, she was going to the hotel room of a strange man she’d met online — the first relationship she’d had with a woman had ended and she was lonely. Here’s what happened in the hotel… Kieran and I went to his hotel room and sat on the edge of the bed and […]

How To
10 Steps to Getting Casual Sex Right

At least half of all problems associated with casual sex can be traced back to its name: People think that “casual” means the sex takes no thought and fits as comfortably as sweatpants. But the truth is, you have to date for years before sex gets like that. (Monogamy does have a few benefits, after all!) […]

Say Amything
When Loneliness Makes You Sexually Stupid

I’ve been thinking a lot these days about what it means to feel uncomfortable.  Is it really so bad to feel bad?  Why are so many people conflict avoidant?  What does it mean when we brush up against each other the wrong way, and what would happen if we forced ourselves, just once in a […]

Dear Em & Lo
My Libido Makes Me Sleep with Mr. Wrong

Dear Em & Lo, I feel like I’m stuck right now. I meet plenty of young men that are very interesting, and eventually, after spending some time with them, I get attached. Something that sounds very normal but turns out to be very painful in the end. So here’s my problem: no matter how hard […]

Sex Poetry
Poem About Early 20th-Century Casual Sex by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Edna St. Vincent Millay, born in 1892, was only the third woman to win the Pulitzer Prize for poetry (in 1923), and she is famous both for her feminist activism and also for her bisexuality and open marriage: her husband of twenty-six years was a self-proclaimed feminist who took on most domestic responsibilities so she […]

How To
6 Quick Tips for Casual Morning Sex

Sex at daybreak (or, if you’re a freelancer, just before noon) isn’t just for newlyweds or long-term couples who happen to be morning people. Sometimes it can work in casual situations, too — in fact, sometimes it’s even better in a casual situation because you haven’t known each other long enough to get truly annoyed […]

How To
5 Signs You’re Dating a Pickup Artist

You’re a straight woman, and you like this guy. You have fun, you have chemistry, and then you have sex. At which point, he seems to disappear. But not totally. Sound familiar? Chances are he’s read the Pick Up Artist lit and is following it to a T. Below, read up on the 5 tell-tale […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: Why Won’t He Get to Know Me?

photo via Flickr We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. This woman asked her question in the comments section of the post How Often Do F-Buddies Become Girlfriends? Tell it […]