Casual Sex
How To
10 Steps to Getting Casual Sex Right

At least half of all problems associated with casual sex can be traced back to its name: People think that “casual” means the sex takes no thought and fits as comfortably as sweatpants. But the truth is, you have to date for years before sex gets like that. (Monogamy does have a few benefits, after all!) […]

Say Amything
When Loneliness Makes You Sexually Stupid

I’ve been thinking a lot these days about what it means to feel uncomfortable.  Is it really so bad to feel bad?  Why are so many people conflict avoidant?  What does it mean when we brush up against each other the wrong way, and what would happen if we forced ourselves, just once in a […]

Dear Em & Lo
My Libido Makes Me Sleep with Mr. Wrong

Dear Em & Lo, I feel like I’m stuck right now. I meet plenty of young men that are very interesting, and eventually, after spending some time with them, I get attached. Something that sounds very normal but turns out to be very painful in the end. So here’s my problem: no matter how hard […]

Sex Poetry
Poem About Early 20th-Century Casual Sex by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Edna St. Vincent Millay, born in 1892, was only the third woman to win the Pulitzer Prize for poetry (in 1923), and she is famous both for her feminist activism and also for her bisexuality and open marriage: her husband of twenty-six years was a self-proclaimed feminist who took on most domestic responsibilities so she […]

How To
6 Quick Tips for Casual Morning Sex

Sex at daybreak (or, if you’re a freelancer, just before noon) isn’t just for newlyweds or long-term couples who happen to be morning people. Sometimes it can work in casual situations, too — in fact, sometimes it’s even better in a casual situation because you haven’t known each other long enough to get truly annoyed […]

How To
5 Signs You’re Dating a Pickup Artist

You’re a straight woman, and you like this guy. You have fun, you have chemistry, and then you have sex. At which point, he seems to disappear. But not totally. Sound familiar? Chances are he’s read the Pick Up Artist lit and is following it to a T. Below, read up on the 5 tell-tale […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: Why Won’t He Get to Know Me?

photo via Flickr We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. This woman asked her question in the comments section of the post How Often Do F-Buddies Become Girlfriends? Tell it […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: Should I Have a Fling with My Long-Distance Boss?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.  Submit Your Own Question to EMandLO.comTry Our New […]

Comment of the Week
Comment of the Week: 6 Rules of the Pre-Relationship Fuck-Buddy Couple

Reader Arielle wrote a nice response to the post How Often Do Fuck Buddies Become Girlfriends?, basically outlining the 6 rules of having a fuck buddy who you might want to turn into a partner some day: All of my relationships have been fuck buddies that turned into relationships.  Twice I’ve gotten my heart broken because the guy was […]

Wise Guys
What Men Really Think About Dating Older Women

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “What do men in general think about dating older women, or cougars?” Straight Married Guy (Jim): The cougar seems like a largely positive stereotype and I’m all for it.  However, the importance of not dressing like you just chalked your first ID cannot […]