Rape
Personal Essays
Confession: Saying “Yes”and Finally Meaning It

KERRY NEVILLE — author of the award-winning short story collection, Necessary Lies, and the forthcoming collection, Remember To Forget Me — writes of the long road toward true consent.   Natalie and I played boyfriend and girlfriend: She was “Michael” and I was “Rebecca.”  We would walk around the block holding hands and when we reached […]

News
The Harsh Reality of Religion-Driven Sex Ed in America

Pantsuit Nation, the private Facebook group of around 4 million members, was originally created as online camaraderie for Hillary Clinton supporters in the 2016 election but has since morphed into a sort of support group for progressives facing trying times under the Trump administration. The following is a recent post to the group from a midwestern parent who gave us […]

News
Did Milo Yiannopoulos REALLY Defend Pedophilia?

Conservative provocateur and all-around asshat Milo Yiannopoulos got disinvited to 2017’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), had his lucrative book deal with Simon & Schuster cancelled, and resigned from Breitbart as an editor — all within 48 hours — over comments about child sexual abuse he made on two podcasts (one in 2015, the other in early 2016) that […]

Confessions
Yay, Our First Trump-Inspired Hater!

Well, that didn’t take long. A sad Trump-supporter who projects his own self-hatred onto women went on a tear through the comments of the post “My Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least It’s Small to Me.” Add this to the growing number of public expressions of hate now legitimized by Trump’s win. We’ll keep loathsome comments up as long […]

How To
10 Super Easy Ways NOT to Be a Misogynist Pig Like Trump*

*Or Billy Bush Can’t seem to view women as human beings? Is that psychic club from Cro-magnon Man days weighing you down and holding you back? Well we’ve got 10 easy ways to help you conquer your ass-backward ways. Follow these simple steps, and soon you’ll be striding upright with confidence into the 21st century! 1. First […]

Advice
The Meanings — and Myths! — of Rape Fantasies

[Editors note: FYI, we at EMandLO.com prefer the term “ravishment fantasy” to further distinguish it from actual rape, since the difference has everything to do with the control Dr. Ley describes below. However, since this is a syndicated column, we’ll keep the original language in tact.] by Dr. David Ley for YourTango One of the hardest presentations I’ve ever given […]

How To
How to Prevent a Brock: 10 Practical Ways Parents Can Fight Rape Culture

The powerful, unapologetic, detailed statement of Brock Turner’s rape victim made public recently touched a collective nerve, resulting in a huge outcry on social media about the rape culture that left him convicted of three sexual assault felonies but only serving 6 months in jail. The outcry, which has already begun to fade, has often narrowly focused on […]

Confessions
A Straight Man’s Take on Rape Culture

As usual, Johnny had something thoughtful to say. This past week it was about rape culture, thanks to the Stanford rape case in the news: You know… as a straight man you think “rape culture” is bullshit when you learn about it. You believe that a tiny percentage of men are rapists, and since they’re sociopaths, there’s no […]

News
EVERYTHING You Need to Know — And Read — About the Stanford Rape Case

This post has been updated since its original posting with further links and excerpts. The Case On January 18th, 2015, two Swedish Stanford grad students riding bicycles late that night spotted a man thrusting on top of an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. When confronted, he tried to run but one of the cyclists chased […]

News
8 Things You Should Know About Consent on College Campuses

by Sarah Marcantonio, a student at Emerson University in Boston Consent (noun): Permission, approval or agreement.  Here’s my definition of sexual consent: two (or more) people actively, explicitly and consciously agreeing to have sexual interactions throughout those interactions, with no party having any reservations at any point. I was taught, both in high school in […]

Confessions
The Most Disturbing Comment This Site Has Ever Received!

After over fifteen years in this business, we’ve seen and heard a lot. There was the couple asking about how they could get their golden retriever to consensually have sex with the wife while the husband watched. There was the morgue worker wondering if he could get STDs from the corpses. There was the “gentleman” Em […]

News
2015: The Year in Bad Sex

  Beautiful, honest, legal, egalitarian sex took a lot of hits this year. Below you’ll find 13 of the worst offenders.   Jared Goes to Jail Subway’s main frontman likes his sandwiches one foot tall and his dates not much taller. He was sentenced to 15 years in prison after admitting to distributing and receiving […]

Pop Culture
A Line-by-Line Take Down of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

The song performed in the 1949 musical “Neptune’s Daughter” ’Tis the season to be sexist, with the “traditional” Xmas pop played on an eternal loop, reinforcing old gender stereotypes about boys only wanting cowboy boots and guns while girls insist on walking, talking dollies. There’s the infernal Love, Actually movie which, despite its charming British […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: How to Tell Your Husband It’s Okay to Ravish You (a Little)

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.  Dear Em & Lo, I’m just about as […]

Advice
How to Live a Complete Life Without Sex

photo via WeHeartIt Dear Em & Lo, I’m 34 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I was molested as a child and raped as an adult. I’ve never had consensual sex. Yet I have intensely sexual dreams. I’ve had years of counseling, but the fear of having a sexual relationship remains. I isolate myself from […]

Personal Essays
An Open Letter to Our Readers About That Football & Rape Piece

photo via Flickr Dear Readers (Robert in particular), Our recent post, Is Football More Important Than Rape, syndicated by us from YourTango and written by Charles J. Orlando, ignited one of the most spirited and thoughtful debates EMandLO.com has had in a long time. The first response came from Robert, a long-time reader, now (sniff) […]