I just want to say that I am very very offended by the term “rape fantasy.” The word rape implies something being done to you (completely against your will) that you do not want. It should not be used in context with the word fantasy. People of course may have fantasies where they wanted to be dominated/be submissive…but the people involved still wants to be participating in whatever sexual act they are participating in. No one actually wants to experience what actually being raped would feel like. It’s completely offensive how often people say that women have “rape fantasies.” Women might have fantasies about someone taking control (generally someone they find attractive and of course should trust) but as far as I believe never about someone forcibly using their body against their will. If anything it should be called a “ravishment fantasy” because the word rape, especially in context with women, creates a greater possibility for people to take rape less seriously and disturbing as it is, to take the idea that women have “rape fantasies” to mean that it’s okay to rape someone. Rape is constantly used in ways that make it sound like a joke when in reality it happens to so many people around the world, so many friends and family members….and do you really think that they want hear that people have fantasies about what has happened to them?! I just really don’t think that the word rape should ever be used in this context. Find a new language to speak about this kind of fantasy.
From Claire, in response to the post “Wise Guys: Do Men Have Rape Fantasies Too?”