Rape
News
Kavanaugh Is a Teachable Moment

These days, you hear a lot of parents bemoan the fact that they can’t have the news on, for fear their kids might hear something sexually inappropriate. That “America’s Dad” Bill Cosby drugged and sexually assaulted 60 women. That the Catholic Church has been a child-rape factory and cover-up machine for decades.  That our own […]

Dear Em & Lo
Should I Be Concerned About My Rape Fantasies?

Dear Em & Lo, I’m writing to ask you about your opinion of rape fantasies. I’ve been in a serious and loving relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years now. It’s a very egalitarian, loving, supportive and comfortable relationship. Yet both my boyfriend and I immensely enjoy acting out rape fantasies. We enjoy having […]

Personal Essays
You Don’t Have to Have a Dick to Date Rape Someone, You Just Need to Be One

The following is the story of a 30-something contributor who wishes to remain anonymous. I drove home from a recent Bumble date, crying the entire way. I had bruises on my neck, arms and chest from being choked and bitten. I bled for almost a full 24 hours after. It hurt to sit for days […]

News
The Difference Between Kink and Abuse

Are there no decent men in the world? NY Attorney General Eric Schneiderman was supposed to be one of the good ones, a champion of the #MeToo Movement who was going after alleged serial sexual assaulter and rapist, Harvey Weinstein. But then The New Yorker (which might seriously need to consider changing its name to “To […]

What's Up Doc?
How Can Women Protect Themselves Against Creepy or Abusive Doctors?

You wish  Dr. Kate were your gynecologist.  She’s an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in Boston who lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health.  She regularly (and generously!) answers your health questions here on EMandLO.com. The following on abusive doctors is part of a continuing series inspired by the #MeToo movement. To ask […]

Confessions
What Pickup Artistry Can Teach Us About Consent and Better Sex

I studied and practiced “The Game”-style pickup artistry back in the day. This may sound far-fetched, but it’s actually shaped my attitude on the subject of sexual communication and consent for the better. One of the biggest teaching points of many PUAs (pick-up artists) relates directly to the topic in the news of late: sensitivity […]

Celebrities
A Tale of Two Dates: 15 Lessons from the Aziz Ansari Case

To read the Tweets and comments on the Babe.net story about one woman’s horrible night with actor & comedian Aziz Ansari (read it here if you haven’t already), you’d assume there were only two possible, mutually exclusive conclusions to draw: either you believe that Ansari is a sexual assaulter who’s career should be over OR […]

News
Roy Moore, Hebephile

Here’s the definition of hebephilia, according to Psychology Today: Hebephilia is the sexual preference for early adolescent children (those roughly ages 11 to 14). Some evidence suggests that hebephilia is a distinct and discernable erotic age preference. But whether it qualifies as a disorder is the source of debate as critics believe including it in the DSM […]

Confessions
Comment of the Week: When Abuse of Power Is Your Fetish

Leave it to MVP Johnny to get inside the male mind and see that the abuse of power is the turn on for some: The common denominator I see in all these men – whether they’re rapists like Weinstein or just inappropriate jerks like C.K. – is that they like to venture outside the bounds […]

News
The Power and Pitfalls of Consent

A lot of strides have been made in educating people, especially college students, about consent. Many now understand you have to ask for it throughout a hookup, it must be given enthusiastically and verbally as you go, it can’t be given by people impaired by drugs or alcohol, and it can’t be given by minors. […]

News
Is What Louis C.K. Did Rape?

This past weekend, over takeout and then later texts, some friends and I were discussing the Louis C.K. allegations. (Talking about sexual misconduct, assault and rape has become regular cocktail party conversation these days, which is a good thing.) One friend shared the following social media post by the writer Emily Bracken: As a feminist […]

Pop Culture
The Myth of Women’s Sacredness

We don’t want special treatment, just equality and justice. On October 19th, 2017, Chief of Staff John Kelly gave a fiercely personal defense of President Trump’s failed attempt at a sympathetic call to the grieving widow of one of the four soldiers recently killed in the Niger ambush. Having lost his own son to combat, […]

Pop Culture
The Weinsteins of the World Get Permission in a Million Little Ways Every Day

Some combination of personality flaw/disorder, power high, and celebrity allowed Harvey Weinstein (and Donald Trump and Bill Cosby and Bill O’Reilly…)  to allegedly sexually harass and assault many women for many years with impunity and without remorse. But there’s another factor at work in these cases — one that’s insidious, pervasive and widely permissible:  casual […]

Confessions
Comment of the Week: It’s the Anti-Abortion LEGISLATION, Stupid

Last week, it was revealed that Pennsylvania Congressman Tim Murphy, member of the House Pro-Life Caucus, had urged his mistress to get an abortion in the midst of  promoting anti-abortion legislation and views on Facebook and in political e-newsletters. Many people rightfully were appalled by the hypocrisy of this Republican representative, whose voting record has […]

News
8 Things You Should Know About Consent on College Campuses

by Sarah Marcantonio, a student at Emerson University in Boston Consent (noun): Permission, approval or agreement.  Here’s my definition of sexual consent: two (or more) people actively, explicitly and consciously agreeing to have sexual interactions throughout those interactions, with no party having any reservations at any point. I was taught, both in high school in […]

Personal Essays
Confession: Saying “Yes”and Finally Meaning It

KERRY NEVILLE — author of the award-winning short story collection, Necessary Lies, and the forthcoming collection, Remember To Forget Me — writes of the long road toward true consent.   Natalie and I played boyfriend and girlfriend: She was “Michael” and I was “Rebecca.”  We would walk around the block holding hands and when we reached […]