Dear Em & Lo, Is Every Woman Capable of Female Ejaculation?

Dear Em & Lo,

So last night my wife experienced one of her orgasms from G-spot stimulation and, as is usual for her, did not ejaculate. In fact, there is never really a detectable increase in her lubrication during orgasm. I was wondering if this means that she is the type of woman who is not a “squirter”? She has asked me several times why she has never “squirted.” Is my wife capable of ‘squirting’? We’ve used fingers, penis, vibe, and even drinking 2 liters of ‘Squirt’ soda to stimulate her G-spot… Any suggestions?

–Squirtless

Dear SQ,

Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot of scientific research on female sexual function, especially on the G-spot and female ejaculation. But from the little research we have seen (as well as a lot of anecdotal evidence), we believe that the structure of the G-spot — the spongy, erectile tissue surrounding the urethra, also known as the female prostate — is different from woman to woman. Some female prostates are bigger, some are smaller; some contain a lot of glands that can contribute to female ejaculation, some don’t. So we believe that for some women, even those who enjoy G-spot stimulation and really would like to female ejaculate and are willing to do whatever it takes to get there (like your wife), it just ain’t gonna happen. There are sex educators out there who proselytize that every woman is capable of “squirting”, but we feel that places yet another undue burden on women to “perform” sexually — and feel like shit when they don’t. And don’t forget, a lot of women just don’t enjoy G-spot stimulation — for some it’s downright uncomfortable. Putting G-spot orgasms and their kinky cousin, female ejaculation, up on sexual pedestals doesn’t do anyone any favors, least of all women who don’t like G-spot stimulation and those who are anatomically unable to squirt. So you can certainly keep trying, as long as you both enjoy the effort no matter the outcome; but if it makes either of you feel disappointed or frustrated to never end up drenched, then it’s time to give up the gold (or give up the golden shower, if you will….although female ejaculate is not urine…but that’s a whole ‘nother article….).

Raining on the parade,
Em & Lo