We know you’re not perfect. At some point, most of you will walk out on a one-night stand without so much as a “Thanks for the sex!” Post-It note. We don’t condone this behavior, but we can offer an emergency guideline, should you happen to bump into this person at a later date. However, this is the etiquette equivalent of the morning-after pill — don’t rely on it as routine! Here are some ways you might approach your former one-night stand — mix and match as you see fit:
The Ice-Breaker: “Excuse me, don’t I know you?”
The Inquisitive: “Hey, how’s it going? Had any good one-night stands lately?”
The Small White Lie: “I tried to wake you, but you were in your R.E.M. cycle and couldn’t be roused.” (Our least favorite.)
The Big Fat Obvious and Therefore Funny Lie: “Sorry, I had to get home to wash my hair.” (Much better!)
The Better Late Than Never: “I forgot to leave this with you the other day.” (At which point you pass a note that includes above-mentioned witty banter and self-deprecating joke — to be sure, it is a tad involved, but it could work if jotted down quickly on a cocktail napkin after bumping into this person at a bar.)
The T.M.I.: “I started to get the beer runs and didn’t want to taint your bathroom.” (Sure to guarantee the platonic nature of your relationship for all eternity.)
The Projection: “I can’t believe you left without saying goodbye.”
The Here Are My Manners: “Sorry I left without saying goodbye. That was so rude of me. Let me make it up to you and buy you a drink. And don’t worry, I promise not to get us both wasted this time.”
