photo by Orthoboric

• Turns out Utah Senator Orrin Hatch managed to sneak an amendment into the healthcare bill (one of the only Republican amendments to survive the last-minute wrangling) which provides $50 million annually for five years to states that offer abstinence programs in public schools.
• An attorney is suing his former son-in-law for more than $1 million, alleging the man — who contracted unspecified STDs at sex clubs — was unfaithful to his daughter after he paid for the couple’s lavish wedding. Life was so much simpler when dad just sat on the front porch with a shotgun.
• Tiger Woods says he’s a much better person since rehab. It remains to be seen whether he means better at being a husband or better at not getting caught.
• Jesse James quits rehab. Ah, whatta man.

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