Top 10 Spanking Tips

Hand-to-bum contact, if you can pull it off without cracking up (heh, we said crack), is a great way to add some kinky flavor to your next sesh. It’s intimate, it’s saucy, and — when compared to, say, a whip or a flogger — it’s safe for newbies to try out. Also, a recent study found that it can actually bring couples closer. Now that’s something we can get behind (sorry…). Try a few spanks during a particularly passionate bout of intercourse, or make spanking the main goal. If you’re keen on the latter, then follow these important guidelines:

  1. Have the spankee lie across your lap, kneel on a bed, stretch out stomach-down, or bend over something they can put their full weight on for comfort.
  2. Remove all bracelets and rings.
  3. Start with a bum massage to warm things up.
  4. When it comes to actually spanking, start slowly and build up intensity gradually with your partner’s permission, varying your pressure and strokes. You may even want to begin over jeans or underwear first.
  5. Contain your spanking to the lower, fleshier halves of each cheek and the backs of the upper thighs (even if you’re just having a spanking snack during sex, this area should be your target) — avoid the lower back, tailbone, and back of the knees.
  6. Follow each blow with a short massage, too, to spread out the pain and keep things nice and warm.
  7. A woman might like particular attention paid at the intersection of bum crack and crease, with the vibrations reverberating throughout the vulva, but definitely steer clear of his family jewels.
  8. Remember that, because of your close proximity to your partner, spanking is especially great for pleasantly diddling their front side while whacking their backside.
  9. If you don’t want your hand to get numb, let a paddle do the work. It’s easy to control the aim and the force (way easier than whips, which are too dangerous for dabblers). Made-for-play paddles are available at any sex toy shop. However, there’s really no need to invest in a pricey paddle when you’ve got a variety of household items that’ll do the job: a wide plastic spatula, a rubber-soled slipper, and, of course, a ping pong paddle.
  10. Need spanking inspiration? Check out Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z by Rachel Kramer Bussel (there’s even a volume two if you can’t get enough spanking!).


  1. i only like to be spanked by other females the harder the better. to be taken otk lightl slapped and rubbed then soundly spanked good and hard aslong asit takes then a warm cuddle, any one prepared to do so.alice

  2. Have never written to one of these, but here goes. How do I ask my husband to spank me ? It is many years since I was spanked and as he is interested in anal sex do I just ask him or buy a paddle of something as a christmas gift my original idea was anal sex toys should I include something for a spanking?

  3. I like being spanked by my “daddy” (and sometimes deserve it!) I have even been spanked and scolded during our love making. It keeps me in check and is very erotic. Sometimes I’ll misbehave just for the attention!

  4. I like to give my man little spanks during sex. Those stingers send him over the edge. Sometimes it makes him cum too soon so I have to be strategic about the timing.

    Agreed with Spes on the wooden kitchen spoons and also in the main piece about spanking the “intersection of bum crack and crease”. Yeeow! That’s good stuff!

  5. I have to stand in defense of kitchenware. I detest any spanking with a hand, flogger, paddle, or (with the exception of a riding crop) just about anything specifically made for spanking purposes. However, my favorite bedroom accessory, besides lube and vibrator, is a wooden or plastic spoon from the kitchen. They can create some of the best sensations and leave some of the prettiest marks (nice little ovals with a dark purple ring surrounding a pale center circle). Plus because they’re easy to control, narrow, and light they can be to used on the breasts as well and inner thighs, too. And they’re a great way to keep one’s mind on sex when doing something as mundane as cooking dinner.
    Wow. I think I need to go find my love, now…

  6. the first kinky community i was involved with had a name (i’m sure it wasn’t original to this group though) for the spatula/slipper/etc family of toys: pervertibles. home depot is a veritable kinky goldmine (see also pet shops, drug stores and chef central).

  7. Just make sure it’s not the textured side of the ping pong paddle. Rubber rug burn is bad. 🙁

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