Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “s a handjob better than nothing for most guys, or would they rather just do the job themselves in that case?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): This question is silly. On one hand, we are much better at it. On the other hand, SOMEONE IS GIVING YOU A CROTCHAL MASSAGE TO FRUITION. There’s something weirdly funny and adolescent about the handshandy, even an unskilled one. No one really has to put in that much effort, and provided there are Kleenex, socks or a t-shirt handy, it may be the most antiseptic of sex acts. At least 20% of public school sex ed should focus on the handy, since no one’s ever gotten pregnant that way.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): A handjob is better than nothing only to men whose partners are either unready or unwilling to have any other kind of sex. With him anyway. But, wow, with a partner who’s really into it and who really knows what she’s (or he) is doing, and who isn’t just doing it to “take care” of him? Did I just say wow? I think I did. In the right hands a handjob can be better than anything!
Gay Married Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): This is a tricky one. On the one hand, it’s impossible for anybody to give a guy a handjob as good as the handjob he can give himself. Like, seriously, each of us likes what he likes, and it’s different from what the next guy likes, and it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to be able to do it right. On the other hand, sex with somebody else’s participation is usually better than without, so maybe the thing to do is compromise. Like, get involved enthusiastically in the heavy lifting, but understand that he’s going to be doing much of the detail work himself.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. Tom Miller writes the Tomfoolery blog for YourTango; this week’s Gay Married Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish; and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
