Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Should a woman be worried if her boyfriend has tons of very close female friends?“ To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Married Straight Guy (Jake): On the contrary, I think a man with many close female friends shows that he has the empathy, listening skills, sensitivity and charisma that are valuable in a partner. And if he is floating in a sea of women but chooses to be with you, that’s a confidence booster if I’ve ever seen one.
Single Straight Guy (Megan): No, not if he has tons of them. Some guys just get along better with women than with other men. I’m in that category. I was raised by a single mother and one older sister. Relating to women is easy for me because I’ve been surrounded by women all my life. I’m sure I’m not alone in this category. A woman should be worried if her boyfriend has one, very special friend. A solitary friendship like that can slide into an intimate, physical, sexual relationship. A friendship like that contains honesty, candor, trust, respect and even love of a different sort. A relationship like that can effortlessly reach a tipping point and judgment can lapse if one of the people in the relationship experience an element of trauma, betrayal, loss, frustration or even plain old intoxication. It’s a common misconception to think that the grass is greener, but, in my experience, it has not been for any prolonged amount of time. There is excitement in a new, different and rejuvenated kind of intimacy between two “friends”, but when that new relationship ends, so does the friendship. It’s better to have one, exclusive partner and a number of close friends than one, exclusive partner and one, very close female friend. There is less chance of a deeper, more intimate relationship developing that way and, as a result, a better chance of the exclusive relationship’s survival.
Committed Gay Guy (Dwayne): Girl friends are the best! The more girl friends, the more knowledge, insight, and gossip. It’s healthy to have many friends, whatever sex they are.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Committed Gay Guy is Dwayne Resnick, a mid-20th-century decorative arts dealer in NY’s Hudson Valley; our Single Straight Guy is The Meeglet blogger Megan, a former librarian whose Men of the Stacks calendar benefits the It Gets Better Project, and our Married Straight Guy is Jake Kulji, a Minneapolis-based freelance writer who blogs at Analogue Living and who has written two Minnesota hiking and camping guidebooks. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
