Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “How do most guys feel when a woman brings her favorite sex toy into the bedroom? Threatened? Excited?
Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos): Unless it’s the Jackhammer Jesus, or obscenely elephantine, I think it’s generally safe — educationally thrilling even — to introduce your vibrator into the bedroom. By appealing to his sense of ingenuity and boyhood exploratory spirit, any guy would be flushed with excitement by the opportunity to tinker with an entirely foreign, exotic gadget. Whether it’s fiddling with your Tivo or installing computer software updates, technology seems to bring the best out in men; they like to get things right. With the proper coaxing (Gee, I just can’t figure this thing out!), tinkering with your Rabbit Habit’s best configurations just might be the kind of dilemma you’d want your guy troubleshooting through an entire Saturday afternoon.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): I don’t know how most guys feel, but whether it’s with toys, fingers, or ideas, I’ve felt very happy when a partner takes me into her confidence and shares what she likes in the bedroom. I like it when she “lends a hand” when we’re in a position where it’s hard for me to reach her. And when she enjoys the exhibitionism/voyeurism of getting off with me. Or when she just wants to add to what we’re doing. It’s nice even when she’s just never going to get off — or off often enough — from my efforts alone. I guess some of those reasons, especially the last, could be seen as threatening. A lot of the other reasons are just straight-up exciting. But they all mean she’s comfortable enough with me, and confident enough about her self, to show me what she likes. And that’s always going to make me happier than if she was too nervous or uncomfortable about it. If she’s comfortable enough to share her favorite toy? So much the better!
You know something I’ve always been too shy to try, though? Being the one to bring a new toy or vibrator into bed with a partner, even one I think she’d enjoy. If it’s okay for a Wise Guy to ask questions of his own, do you think it would be okay to do that instead? [Em & Lo: Ladies, respond in the comments section below, please!]
Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): I think most guys feel somewhere between threatened and excited. It’s adventurous, but also a little denigrating. It’s probably similar to how most girls would feel if a guy brought his favorite pornography to share in the bedroom: unwelcome competition, and too much information. (Imagine how you’d feel if a guy showed you a well-worn picture of a swimsuit model, and then with a conspiratorial smile taped it to the wall above the pillows before getting down to business?) A definite no-no for most couples in the first few months of dating. But for long-term and married couples, introducing your little best friend can help revive or spice things up, and even be a welcome relief for guys who aim to please their woman.
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