Wise Guys: What’s the Deal with Blue Balls?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “What do blue-balls feel like… is it really that painful, or that big a deal? Is it even a real physical phenomenon?”

Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): Blue balls are the testicular equivalent of a migraine headache. They are very real and can be very painful: pressure builds up due to sexual excitement from direct stimulation and has nowhere to go. Imagine having to sneeze, getting right to the second before and holding it for 15 minutes. Now, to be clear, I’m referring to situations where sexual activity has already begun (i.e. handjobs, oral, whatever) and then stopped in the middle for some reason. Mere kissing doesn’t cause blue balls, and those guys who claim otherwise are probably pigs. (To suggest a romantic situation that starts with kissing HAS to end with an orgasm is not only absurd, it’s borderline abusive.) But in those situations where physical contact with the johnson has been initiated by a second party and then arbitrarily withdrawn, it can be not only physically frustrating, but emotionally frustrating as well. It’s like, Why would she do that? Why??? My work ethic has always been to finish what I start, and I recommend this philosophy be applied to the bedroom as well. Of course, guys who find themselves in this situation have a very easy solution: masturbate! Much like Excedrin cures a headache, masturbation will cure blue balls. It’s really quite simple.

Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): Truthfully, I had to look this up.  Wikipedia claims it is “the condition of temporary fluid congestion in the testicles and prostrate region caused by prolonged sexual arousal in the human male.”  I say no way.  Total urban legend.  “Prolonged sexual arousal?”  What kind of oxymoron is that?  I don’t know any guy who “prolongs” sexual arousal.  Sexual arousal in men is like Superman: it’s up, up and away, end of story.  Maybe it existed in the ’50s, when people would just “neck” for hours and it wouldn’t go anywhere. But those days are looooong gone.  Hi Bristol Palin!  And gay-wise?  Uh, never an issue. However, if I’m wrong and there really is such a thing, I would sincerely hope they look like Smurf balls — because that would be kind of cool.

Straight Married Guy (Jim): What does it say about me that I’m not even sure I’ve ever really experienced blue balls? All I can say for sure is that not having orgasmic sex is the worst part of not having orgasmic sex.  I’d prefer to think this is an evolutionary advance, rather than a carefully cultivated myth I’m ruining for half of everyone.  Maybe someone who wasn’t effectively celibate in high school can explain if it’s only a problem with new balls.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Jim from New York, our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter, and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett, owner of the LA PR firm Barnett Ellman. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. Doesn’t seem like this many people would make this up but I’ve never had blue balls in my entire life.

  2. Your all full of shit. A girl gets you excited and does it for several hours your balls are going to ache like you just survived a bicycle wreck

  3. Blue ball is real and almost every guy experience after prolonged caressing without ejaculation.Its painful and causes so much discomfort to men.The pain can be reduced y bathing with cold water immediately.

  4. All the “Lol, clearly they aren’t man enough to not get them” or “anyone past high schoole” jokes are hilarious. Considering the fact I can think myself into blue balls, and have extremely high levels of testosterone.

    Follow up question:

    What’s with insecure inferior males constantly belittling others? Does it make you all feel better about yourselves?

    “Truthfully, I had to look this up. Wikipedia claims it is “the condition of temporary fluid congestion in the testicles and prostrate region caused by prolonged sexual arousal in the human male.” I say no way.”

    In the same sentence?

    Dude this has to be the most toxic idea for a website anyway. You have a panel of morons saying “I know nothing about this” and “I’m positive it’s false” in the same sentence?

    Holy toxic internet mentality.

  5. I get blue balls almost every night but if you go to sleep it will go away and masturbation doesn’t work for me so it really sucks when they hit midday.

  6. alright I’m tired of hearing from you guys about masturbating when i get blue balls…are you being fucking serious with me right now? I can’t even move without it hurting like shit, hell I can’t even sit straight & you are telling me to masturbate to make me feel better? are you trying to get me killed? how the hell is that supposed to make me feel better?

    1. Masturbation does not help. Only thing I’ve found to help was ”massage’. Rolling them around. For a long time. If your partner can do it you’ll both feel better about the situation. This really can happen and really can be debilitating. Once it’s happened the ejaculation won’t help me. Sort of like jerking of right after getting a baseball in the crotch. Only time will help.

  7. A girl I had stopped dating met up with me one night and we started getting it on. I hadn’t been laid in weeks and had not masturbated in over a week either. She gave me head and used her hand a bit but them stopped and didn’t want to go any further. I was so close to orgasm but she was being stupid and purposely stopped knowing full well what she was doing. Trying to get me back for the break-up. I left and had this awful ache in my balls. I went were I could be alone and jerked off. It took about 1 minute to reach orgasm and it almost hurt to cum. I had to do it again 30 minutes later to get even more relief. It’s a build up that needs to be let out.

  8. Blue balls is most definitely real. Hurts like hell. I find laying flat on my back helps a lot. P.s don’t ever try and keep your orgasm in longer than 3 climax attempts that would = the worst pain ever!!! F-ing blue balls

  9. Honestly blue balls hurt me at a full scale of 1-10!
    When i try to walk it hurts on my lower abbs and in my ass! And all a woman can suggest is ice!

  10. I have had it twice that I can remember. Me and my girlfriend were getting into it and she started giving me head, said she wanted to stop, and then a few hours later my god it was painful. I knew about the masturbation cure and when I did, I noticed I came a lot more than usual. But to those who say it doesn’t exist, get your head out of your ass.

  11. There is a real thing called blue balls, but it is very rare, and often guys say they have it as a way to coerce women into sex (VERY DOUCHEY).
    In vast majority of cases, even after sex has begun, stopping will not cause blue balls. Instead it will cause a butt-hurt ego, and a raging erection that will take a few minutes to go down.
    The real blue balls happens when a guy stops DURING orgasm – not before it.
    To explain:
    From http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/the-male-orgasm.aspx:
    “The [male] orgasm itself occurs in two phases, emission and ejaculation. In emission, the man reaches ejaculatory inevitability, the ‘point of no return.’ Semen is deposited near the top of the urethra, ready for ejaculation.”
    Blue balls is a pain in the stomach and groin when a man stops stimulating / being stimulated during or after emission but before complete ejaculation. At that point semen is then neither here nor there – it has been released from the testicles, but hasn’t made it out of the penis. This can cause pain for some time like a stomach ache, in my case lasting about 15-30 minutes.

  12. Guys I went to the Dr. to ask the treatment for BB. He said there is no fucking treatment just masturbate and you will feel better .. how the hell can I masturbate at work or any public place? I am a man and if i see a hot woman my penis is out of control and after few hours BB attacks. WTF….. someone HELPPP….!!! :((

  13. I have experienced ‘blue balls’ many times, I was very worried as it can be excruciating. It generally makes me feel kinda ill as well, similar to when you are kicked really hard in your balls. I have had it from just kissing, but the worst pain is when you have to stop during actual intercourse -.- lasted about four hours. I have also had trouble relieving it once it has begun, masturbation doesn’t seem to do much help, I just have to wait it out and it is very distracting

  14. jay dyckman is either mistaken or is a liar. i currently have blue balls. i googled it to see whats up and stumbled across this. coincidence that hes homosexual and he so boldly claims that it is an urban legend and an oxymoron? nope. more likely that hes one of those non-oxy-morons who throws knowledge and reason out the window in order to:

    never let a rape victim be blamed
    prove to the world that straight men are complete and utter liars and pigs
    all men watch porn while scratching their armpits and picking their nose
    girl power
    women have right to choose
    sexual harassment should never go unpunished
    never let women be demeaned
    democratic party, liberal, for no reason other than the sole fact that hes gay

    “Maybe it existed in the ’50s, when people would just “neck” for hours and it wouldn’t go anywhere. But those days are looooong gone.” – i mean seriously, what kind of faulty logic is that? this is a physical occurrence. it doesnt just go away after 50 years! thats like saying that balls have gone away! maybe for you…in which case you need to grow a pair. not every person orgasms in 30 seconds. thats would be pre-mature ejaculation. people like to last a long time. just because you clearly dont last doesnt mean other men cant either! moron.

    youre spreading misinformation because of your misandrist agenda. maybe you should throw a change up and pitch for once. then you might have an idea.

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