In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re rerunning a series of top ten lists dedicated to the film-genre equivalent of those little heart candies: the romantic comedy. Our first was classic rom coms; second was alternative love stories; next we listed the best overlooked ones, then old school films made before we were born. Today, we continue with the most overrated rom coms, all of which break the cardinal rule of rom coms: to make the protagonists actually likable. We’re sure you’ll disagree with some of them. (Even Em disagrees with most of them, though she admits her standards are pretty low when it comes to rom coms.)

1. My Big Fat Greek Wedding – How the eff is this the biggest grossing romantic comedy of all time? Why the hell was it nominated for a Best Screenwriting Oscar? It was freaking unwatchable! Neither of us can even remember the plot because it was so traumatically bad we’ve blocked it out. All we can remember is the absolute emptiness we felt when it was finally over (or was that when we finally walked out of the theater?).
2. Love Actually – Misogyny coated in a layer of sickly sweet sappiness. Every single female character in this movie is a loser who needs a man like a fish needs a set of gills. Proof that there is still a need for feminism in the Western world.
3. Jerry Maguire – It was okay, but worth five Academy Award nominations, including best actor and best film? What’s the BFD? So it had some cute catchphrases: “help me help you”, “show me the money”, “you complete me”. But catchphrases are for commercials. We’ll take “Where’s the beef?” over “You had me at hello” any day.
4. Four Weddings and a Funeral – If Hugh Grant got together with Kristin Scott Thomas at the end of this movie, then it might have ended up on our Top 10 Classic Rom Coms lists. But the fact that he ends up with the totally unlikeable ass played poorly by Andie MacDowell makes it a loser.
5. Sideways – We’re supposed to feel sympathy for a pretentious lush and a shameless, selfish cheater? Pass us a bottle of Merlot, stat!
6. My Best Friend’s Wedding – If this is how Julia Roberts’s character treats her best friend and her best friend’s fiance, we’d hate to see how she treats her enemies. She deserves to grow old and die alone.
7. As Good As It Gets – A bad accent and a pair of THOs do not an Oscar-worthy performance make. But apparently they do.
8. There’s Something About Mary – The original title of this movie was “There’s Something About Mary That’s Totally Annoying.”
9. You’ve Got Mail – You know the only thing less interesting than watching two people type IM messages to each other while giggling inanely? No, we can’t think of anything either.
10. Juno – As two people dedicated to helping inform young people about the harsh realities of sex, we take issue with the fact that there was absolutely no discussion of contraception. Hey kids, not being safe, getting pregnant and giving up your baby for adoption is the best way to finally get the boy you have a crush on to go out with you! Plus, no kid talks that way — only pretentious writers trying too hard and too long to sound clever talk that way.

Let’s go old school:
Top 10 Classic Rom Coms