3/25/11
Your Call: My Guy Is Too Fat for Sex

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Dear Em & Lo,

I genuinely have the most wonderful guy in my life. We were high school sweethearts who found each other again 20+ years later. Obviously I wouldn’t be writing you if there wasn’t a problem, so here it is: his weight prevents us from having intercourse, and it bothers me more and more as time goes on. Sexually he is amazing to me otherwise.

It didn’t actually occur to me early on that we would have this problem, and then when I did realize it, I believed it wouldn’t be a problem for long because he had lost 60 pounds in the previous 6 months. But it’s a year later and the weight loss stalled.

After 14 years in a miserable marriage and losing 50 pounds myself … well, I would really like to have “traditional sex.” But his weight (and difficulty maintaining an erection, even with ED medication) prevents me from successfully pulling off woman-on-top. And the final difficulty for me is that I feel unsure how to pleasure him to orgasm other than oral sex, and that kind of gets old when I feel that’s my only option. Got any advice? How do I talk to him about this?

— Weighed Down

What should W.D. do?