Communication
Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo, Is “Cunt” an Appropriate Word for Dirty Talk?

Dear Em & Lo, Hello there. This morning for the first time, my new boyfriend and I fucked. It was going okay until he came out with the word “cunt.”  I froze. Maybe it’s just me, but, I always blush at this word. Now, he wants me to use it when, or rather if, we […]

News
The Difference Between Kink and Abuse

Are there no decent men in the world? NY Attorney General Eric Schneiderman was supposed to be one of the good ones, a champion of the #MeToo Movement who was going after alleged serial sexual assaulter and rapist, Harvey Weinstein. But then The New Yorker (which might seriously need to consider changing its name to “To […]

How To
How to Discuss Your Sexual History with a New Partner in 10 Steps

We know you don’t want to hear it, but: you’ve got to have the hard conversation with each new sexual partner about where your junk has been and what it’s seen.  Especially in an age when casual sex is de rigueur, and Tinder is causing STD rates to skyrocket, and almost everyone has or has […]

How To
15 Things You CAN Change About Sex

We told you about five things you can’t change about your sex life, and we encouraged an attitude of serenity and acceptance. But luckily there are plenty of things you can change about sex, too! Here are 15 to get you started… 1. Your sexual IQ. Bodies don’t come with instruction manuals, but that’s no excuse […]

How To
6 Ways to Have More Sex Without It Feeling Like a Chore

According to this research, having more sex may actually make couples less happy — if they feel like they’re being told to have more sex. The Carnegie Mellon study, published in the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization, studied 64 heterosexual married couples between 35 and 65 years old. Group one was told to have sex […]

Pop Culture
10 Things We WON’T Miss from the Fifty Shades Franchise

We finally got closure on our seriously unhealthy relationship with the Fifty Shades juggernaut this past weekend. Fifty Shades Freed, the third and final cinematic adaptation of E.L. James’ best-selling erotica trilogy, was released on Friday — much to the chagrin of hardcore fans and to the relief of movie critics everywhere. The success of […]

Personal Essays
4 Dating Myths We’re STILL Stuck With

Edie Freedman is a student at New York University studying social and cultural analysis, politics and psychology. There she is a writer and editor for The Tab NYU. There is no question that the dating game for young people has changed dramatically in the last decade or so, thanks to social media and quick, instant-decision […]

How To
How to Have Phone Sex in 10 Easy Steps

You’re away on business, you don’t know a soul in this town, you’re holed up in your hotel room, alone and lonely (read: horny) and because you are a not a cheating scumbag and this isn’t Up in the Air, you pick up the phone to call your honey at home in the hopes of a little cellular nookie, […]

Confessions
What Pickup Artistry Can Teach Us About Consent and Better Sex

I studied and practiced “The Game”-style pickup artistry back in the day. This may sound far-fetched, but it’s actually shaped my attitude on the subject of sexual communication and consent for the better. One of the biggest teaching points of many PUAs (pick-up artists) relates directly to the topic in the news of late: sensitivity […]

How To
Make at Least 1 of These 6 Sex Goals Your New Year’s Resolution

There are some promises that are never meant to be kept: I’ll meet you at the bar later after I’ve had a nap. I’m going to hit the gym during my lunch break. I’ll take a look at these materials you’re handing out door-to-door and get back to you.  These promises are empty by design, […]

How To
3 Easy(ish) Steps to Sharing a Fantasy with a Partner

Sharing a fantasy with a partner can be a cheap and easy way to foster intimacy, build trust, and kink things up. But it takes a lot of courage to do. What if you think yours is too mundane to put into words (remember Meg Ryan’s faceless stranger fantasy in When Harry Met Sally?). Or what […]

How To
How to Introduce Sex Toys Into a Relationship

While some people may not be entirely familiar with the idea of using toys during partnered sex, anyone who already uses a sex toy for solo masturbation can probably imagine the pleasurable twist they can add. Sex toys are the perfect way for fun-loving couples to increase intimacy while further exploring their relationship. The introduction […]

How To
10 Easy Ways to “Work” on Love

This Labor Day, let us be reminded that love takes work. Here are 10 simple things you can — and should — do regularly to keep a long-term relationship or marriage happy and satisfying: 1. Do something new together. Sign up for a continuing education class. Try a new sport. Go see a concert or […]

Dear Em & Lo
My Ex Is Over Me, But I’m Not Over My Ex — Help!

Dear Em and Lo, My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little over 4 years (I’m in my 20s). For the first three years I loved him so much. I put in so much effort. He was the most beautiful, funny and wonderful man. But then things got a little rocky. I felt […]

Confessions
On Second Thought, When Men Ask About Their Size, Do THIS

A few weeks ago, Pete had some interesting (and some potentially controversial) thoughts in response to our post”If Men Ask About Their Size, Can I Tell Him the Truth?” His answer? Basically, “Yes, tell him the truth gently, with helpful tips thrown in.” Recently reader Dave took a wee exception to this:  Well you ONLY tell him […]

Confessions
Why Men Ask You About Their Size (& How You Should Answer)

Pete had some interesting (and some potentially controversial) thoughts in response to our post “If He Asks About Size, Can I Tell Him the Truth?“: When a guy asks this question, there could be a lot of reasons for asking: 1. He might want to compete against other guys (“Am I better than other guys?”) […]