We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. This woman asked her question in the comments section of the post How Often Do F-Buddies Become Girlfriends? Tell it to her straight in the comments section below.
Dear Em & Lo,
So I started talking to this guy on a dating app. He seemed so interested at first. Conversations could have been a bit inappropriate looking back now, but at the time they were so exciting! We went out on our first date to a members only club. Which made me think “Ok, it’s good that he’s not hiding me.” We had three other dates but they were very spaced out and all three he would invite me over and cook for me. We spoke about our families, he’d talk to me about his friends like I knew them, we spoke about our ex’s for a minute or so, I learnt that he had got out of a one year relationship 3 months prior to us talking. We slept together on the fourth date. I really like him and we clicked so well when we were together, but then he wouldn’t talk to me until the next week when he’d want to see me.
One day he tried to make a joke out of wanting to sleep with me, I took it the wrong way and said I wasn’t only looking for someone to sleep with and if that was the case maybe I should take a step back. His response was “I hadn’t thought that far ahead!” What does that even mean?!
I tried to call him to explain what I meant, as I wasn’t looking to rush into something, I just wanted to go out and do different things. He picked up but said he was in the middle of something and would call me back… Of course he didn’t. I took the advice of a guy friend of mine and sent him a message the next evening to diffuse the situation. I said [things] got a bit lost in translation and there was no drama and I asked what his plans were for the evening. He responded the next day… Basically just saying that he was ill but was going to an event he had to attend that night but was just going to lay low. I took that as he was only going to invite me over if I was going to see him. I told him to enjoy his evening!
He texted a couple of days later saying that he was at work and was going to chill and watch a movie at home after work and said I was welcome to join. I told him I was not up for that but I didn’t mind going out for a drink! He said he would text me once he finished work. He texted me later than when he said he would to say that he was running late and let’s rearrange.
Of course I was annoyed but just said perhaps after I’m back from my trip. His response was “sure x.” Thing is he hasn’t asked about me or contacted me since. I don’t know how to deal with this guy, I don’t get why I’m not being given a chance, I’ve never been in a situation where a guy hasn’t wanted to get to know me. I think about him a lot but I don’t want it to just be about sex!
I’d love to hear your advice.
— Loulou
What advice do you have for LouLou? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
