Everything We Needed to Know About Love and Sex We Learned from Dr. Seuss

As the mothers of two small children (two each, that is), we have spent many hours reading the books of Dr. Seuss aloud. And the more we read, the more we realize how freakin’ wise he was…about everything. (Yes, we admit it: We were more excited by the discovery of a new Dr. Seuss book, What Pet Should I Get, than the the “discovery” of a “new” book which was wrested from the archives of a near senile Harper Lee.) Dr. Seuss once said, “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” Okay, fine, when he said “fantasy,” he probably wasn’t talking about role-playing or dirty talk or dressing up as a maid. But he might well have been talking about life and love.

Here are our top ten favorite lessons from Dr. Seuss, and the quotes from his books that inspired them. Turns out the good doctor knew a lot about how to love and be loved:

1. You Decide Who to Love (Not Your Parents, Not Your Friends, Not Your Church, and Certainly Not Your Government)

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

2. Don’t Wait for a Rut to Get Creative in Your Relationship (or in Bed)

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

3. Speaking Of: It’s Not a Sign of Defeat to Read Sex Manuals; Sex is a Life-Long Learning Process

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.

4. Don’t Hate On Your Naked Body; You Will Look Back on Photos and Realize How Good You Actually Look Right Now

You’re in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.

5. No One Deserves to Be Dumped Via Text

A person’s a person, no matter how small.

6. Don’t Say You’ll Call If You Have No Intention of Doing So

I meant what I said and I said what I meant.

7. Tragedy Plus Time = A Great First-Date Story

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere

8. Stand Up for Women’s Rights, Gay Rights, Transgender People, and Anyone Else Who Doesn’t Get to Love and Be Loved the Way They Should

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.

9. Don’t Wait to Tell Someone You Love Them/Ask Someone on a Date/Reach Out to an Old Flame

How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?

10. Remember to Keep an Open Mind About How to Love…and How to Make Love

And I would eat them in a boat.
And I would eat them with a goat…
And I will eat them, in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!
So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them anywhere!

Need more inspiration?
28 “Pretty Woman” Quotes to Use When Online Dating


  1. I agree with your lesson about keeping an open mind, but I hope the two of you were not promoting bestiality with that quote from Green Eggs and Ham:

    And I would eat them with a goat…
    . . . .

    And I will eat them with a fox.

    . . . .

    And I will eat them with a mouse.
    And I will eat them here and there.

    Let’s keep this between consenting adults. ; )

    1. Ha, Ralphie! Good point. No, we weren’t condoning bestiality — animals can’t give consent, at least not explicitly, so we’re not for it. But we’re all for DRESSING UP like a goat or a fox or a mouse or any other furry, if that’s your thing!

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