We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
Dear Em & Lo,
I know it’s wrong to snoop. I know I’m supposed to trust my partner and not, you know, guess his email password or read his texts when he’s in the shower or look at his incoming call log. But what if I screwed up, just a little bit, and snooped, just a little bit… and then find out that I was right — and it turns out HE screwed up a big bit by cheating and all my suspicions were right? In this case, it seems like the snooping was justified, right? And therefore, logically, isn’t ALL snooping justified, so long as you do it because you suspect something, and not because you’re a control freak with insecurity issues?
For the record, I haven’t snooped. Not yet. And I’m not a control freak with insecurity issues. I have a bad feeling that if I do snoop, I might find something. So…is it okay to snoop, just to confirm my suspicions? Because what if, on the off chance, I turn out to be wrong — won’t it be better to find this out by snooping, rather than my confronting my partner and making it seem like I don’t trust him?
— Ms. Sherlock