Thanks to the #MeToo Movement, it’s become clear it’s high time to get rid of some long-standing traditions: sexual predation by men in power, friends and colleagues who turn a blind eye to — or worse, enable — misconduct, useless H.R. departments, answering the door in a robe, secret under-the-desk buttons that lock the office […]
There is a long-standing debate over whether porn is good for you or bad for you. We received two questions from straight women decidedly in the “bad for you” camp. So we “remixed” our Wise Guys’ thoughts on the topic with some of our own to come up with advice for straight women disturbed by […]
Dear Em & Lo, I’m 34 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I was molested as a child and raped as an adult. I’ve never had consensual sex. Yet I have intensely sexual dreams. I’ve had years of counseling, but the fear of having a sexual relationship remains. I isolate myself from men. The only […]
Did you ever see the movie Revolutionary Road? It’s a PSA on how NOT to fight as a couple. For those of you who’d rather not submit to two hours of cinematic depression, here are the five hateful argument tactics you should avoid for the sake of love: 1. Fighting Dirty Avoid the temptation to say […]
Many of my patients come in for their yearly check-ups, and as I do their breast exam, they confess that they haven’t been checking themselves as regularly as they ought to. But there isn’t really a clear answer as to whether or not women “should” perform breast self-exam (or BSE) on a regular basis. There […]
If you want a little freedom from all your daily responsibilities, if you’re sick of having to make decisions, if you kinda like being held down and tickled….then why not spend an evening being submissive for a change? Let your partner call all the shots. By being (temporarily) submissive in the bedroom, you can get […]
As two women who’ve had some experience on the receiving end of a speculum, we offered some advice to one reader about how to get over her fear of visiting a gynecologist. Below, actual-gynecologist Dr. Kate tries to further allay her fears as a woman who’s spent her career on the giving end. You’re not […]
Hey Em and Lo, I know how important it is to see a gyno, but honestly, I am terrified to go. I’ve actually made several appointments since I lost my virginity about nine months ago, but every time the date approaches, I find myself canceling last minute. I’ve tried positive thinking, ignoring thoughts of the […]
Lube gets a bad rap, so we’d like to clear its name here once and for all: Store-bought personal lubricant is not a “crutch.” And reaching for the wet stuff doesn’t automatically mean you’re “not into it,” “frigid” or “kinky.” For some women, natural lubrication doesn’t necessarily go hand-in-hand with sexual desire (wanting sex) or […]
Dear Em & Lo, I’m writing to ask you about your opinion of rape fantasies. I’ve been in a serious and loving relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years now. It’s a very egalitarian, loving, supportive and comfortable relationship. Yet both my boyfriend and I immensely enjoy acting out rape fantasies. We enjoy having […]
Most people have that one, fail-safe way that gets them from point A to point O quickly and directly, scenic lookout points be damned! And when you’re busy or tired (read: every minute of every day), it’s easy (and understandable) to resort to that surefire orgasm route on the rare occasion you do get around […]
Okay, so we know we’re fond of saying that our sex advice requires neither a yoga mat nor a devotion to ’90s Sting. It’s not that we have anything against yogis, we just think that the ability to wrap one’s legs around one’s head isn’t necessarily the answer to everyone’s sex problems. That said, we […]
Dear Em & Lo, I’m a woman and have been dating my boyfriend for five months and we have a great relationship…well, almost great. When we have sex, I have a hard time crossing the finish line. We’ve tried many positions and everything feels great. I just can’t orgasm with my boyfriend. It’s at the point […]
The definition of sex is not “intercourse”. You won’t find terms like “going all the way” on this site, because intercourse is not the last lap you complete to win a medal — in fact, it’s not even a requirement for “winning” at sex. No, intercourse is one of many ways to engage in sexual […]
Dear Em & Lo, Hello there. This morning for the first time, my new boyfriend and I fucked. It was going okay until he came out with the word “cunt.” I froze. Maybe it’s just me, but, I always blush at this word. Now, he wants me to use it when, or rather if, we […]
Dear Em & Lo, Four months ago my girlfriend of three years ended our relationship. She gave me generic reasons: “It’s not you, it’s me; we’re too young for such a serious relationship; we have a lot to experience.” Finally this week I got her to drop her guard and open up to me. Her […]
