Okay, it’s actually a gift set for men, but our friends over at LELO decided to have a little fun with the marketing, explaining that the banking angle “gave us the opportunity to come up with loads of banking puns: Deposit; Hostile takeover; Double dip; Sperm bank; The Ultimate Stimulus Package…”
So what’s the hook? “Bankers screw us so often, we may as well get some pleasure out of it.” Funny.
PINO, “the first pleasure product made exclusively for bankers” [and those are big air quotes], is by far and away the most luxurious vibrating couple’s ring money can buy, presented in LELO’s most premium gift box ever. The perfect gift for the powerful man who has everything and still wants more, inside you’ll find:
- Cufflinks: A pair of engraved silver cufflinks that hint subtly at your expertise at market penetration.
- Money Clip: A chromed money clip bearing the mantra of many a successful trader: Always Be Closing.
- PINO™: The powerful, 10-function vibrating couple’s ring from our Insignia range, with a unique ridge design to add some liquid to your assets. (100% Waterproof & USB-Rechargeable.)
But again we ask, why single out bankers? LELO’s (fairly tongue-in-cheek) spiel:
Wall Street can be a cut-throat place, and everybody wants a slice. We believe it’s in our interest to keep Wall Street smiling because, if the moneymen are happy, it’s usually good news for the rest of us.
But that’s not all. Bankers and traders are famous – or infamous, more accurately – for their insatiable excesses and recklessly hedonistic lifestyles. Sure, the movie portrayals are undoubtedly exaggerated, but there is a foundation of truth beneath the Gordon Gekkos and Wolves of Wall Streets we see in the cinemas. They are, after all, based on real people. LELO is in a unique position to stimulate that market.
Since a large section of sex toy early adopters tend to come from the financial sector, we are only too keen to service their demands and desires, as we do for so many other core sections of our most loyal customers. Bankers, though, have sex differently from most of us. For most of us, sex is an appetite. In the male-dominated, testosterone-drenched world of banking, it’s an obsession. We need to make sure they’re doing it right. PINO™ is kind of an outside consultant in that respect: it’s not cheap, it’s very flashy, and by the time you need it, it might already be too late.
But should we really be lavishing the greedy, morally bankrupt jerks of the world with nice presents? And what about the female jerks in finance? Do they get their own high-end, high-powered gift package?
It’s not as flashy, but how about we just think of the PINO Pleasure Set as the perfect splurge this holiday season for the man — not the jerk — in your life who sometimes has the occasion to wear cufflinks? Because that couple’s massage ring looks like it’ll be a pretty sweet present for you, too!
