Wise Guys: Do Men Really Care About Their Partner’s Flexibility?

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Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do men really care about how flexible their partners are in bed?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): Sure, flexibility is great… but I don’t need you to be able to lock your legs behind your head. In fact, I’ve never had an issue of a woman not being flexible enough for what we were doing. So no, it’s really not a big deal.

Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): Flexible as in easy going personality, then yes. I don’t want to be with a high maintenance person who cannot roll with the punches. Sometimes life happens and the best laid plans fall apart. Physically flexible, who wouldn’t want that? I don’t think members of either gender or sexual orientation want someone who is stiff and can’t move. So get out those yoga mats.

Single Gay Guy (Abraham Zeus Zapata): It’s just as much a big deal as penis length is for you gals — a happy medium is always appreciated! It’s great to have the option, but too much flex is like having sex a la Exorcism of Emily Rose (kinda scary) — but too little is like trying maneuver a department store mannequin. You don’t need to be “Cirque du Soleil,” but a yoga DVD can do wonders!

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Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Single Gay Guy is Abraham Zeus Zapata, an actor, writer and artist living in the Houston area; our Single Straight Guy is Scott Phrenetik, who moonlights as a DJ in Dallas; and our Married Straight Guy is Ben D., a former professional fighter who would now much rather spend time with his wife and baby son than get punched in the face by a sweaty man. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. Sexual contortion is over-rated. Feet-behind-the-head position is kind of weird-looking, actually. If you’re flexible enough to pass a PE class, that’ll do.

  2. well no, it’s just that whenever there is a group of males and some indication or reference to a female being flexible, there’s usually a cry of ‘ooh yes, she’s very flexible’ nudge nudge wink wink leer. Gets a bit weird really.

    So I guess it makes sense to ask whether it’s an actual thing, or just one of those social-group oo-er missus reflexes.

  3. I would love, love, love to know what prompted the writer to ask this question. Unless they have contortionist or maybe Kama Sutra fetishes most men aren’t likely to specifically think of their partner’s flexibility at all.

    Instead we’d be more likely to think of it in terms of general healthy or fitness: not so much “can she cross her ankles behind her ears” as “do we have comparable levels of fitness.” (Note: if there’s an expectation that you need to be flexible or fit but he doesn’t then…)

    But really, about what prompted the question, it feels like one of those “if I lost five more pounds men would like me” or “if I could afford a nicer car women would like me” thing where it’s the individual him or herself cares far, far more than their prospective partners are likely to. So. Maybe a better question would be do you really care about your flexibility? Would you like to be more flexible? If so then go for it! But chances are that if he’d be attracted to a more flexible you he’d be attracted to you anyway.

    Good luck!


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