If He Asks About Size, Can I Tell Him the Truth?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: If a guy asks me how I think his penis ranks size-wise, and I honestly think it’s a little on the small side or perhaps too skinny, what do you think the best approach is?

Straight Married Guy (Fred): I’ll start answering this question with another question:  If I honestly think a woman is on the big side or perhaps a little chubby and she asks me if she’s fat, what do you think the best approach is? Of course I tell her that she looks great. But there’s a difference between these two situations: she can eat a healthier diet and exercise but he can’t do anything about his size. She may even be looking for a little motivation with the question, but it’s still polite to fib in this instance. Which means it’s imperative to fib in the other instance. Tell him that you think his size is great. You can add that you’ve seen bigger and, more importantly, you’ve seen smaller, and that he’s just right.  Adding that too big can be uncomfortable is always a good tidbit as well.  Being honest in this case will only serve to make him forever self-conscious or even more self-conscious than he already is (men hear all the time that “It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean,” but men also see the widening eyes and devilish smiles when women talk about sizable, girthy man-sausage). A finessed answer can give him the confidence that most women find attractive and will more than make up for his tiny dick.

Straight Single Guy (Chris): This is an easy one: Lie. If you tell the truth (“It’s kind of too skinny…”) his penis may never again work for you, ever. Put yourself in his shoes, “Are my boobs big enough for you? You seem to always look at girls with big boobs when they walk by…” Would you really want him to say “Well, honey, your boobs are cute, but they are much smaller than I prefer. If I could use magic to change you, I would give you natural 34DD’s.” So lie. But before you do, you need to know is that if his penis is small-ish, he already knows. He is already sensitive about it, and he is just hoping you haven’t been with any well-endowed men. So if you overcompensate with an outright fabrication such as, “It’s huge. It’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen,” he will know you are lying to spare his feelings and he will feel even worse. So just say, “Honestly, it’s not the biggest one I’ve ever seen, but it works great for me and you are fantastic in bed. Let’s do it right now!” Trust me, this is the only answer that can work.

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): Oooh. Awkward. You might just want to end the relationship right then and there rather than suffer through such an uncomfortable conversation, especially if you can’t bluff. It is never advisable to tell a man his tool is anything but a first-rate, thick cut orgasm factory. If a man is asking you if you think he’s small, he’s probably having some self confidence issues, and confirming his suspicions will only exacerbate problems. So if you don’t mind living with his teeny-tiny skinny-minny member, lie through your teeth. Nothing good can come of you admitting you think he’s small. If the size of his prize has been an issue for you, or you’ve been looking for an excuse to break it off anyway, you might want to begin with “It’s not your small penis, it’s me. . .”

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. As a man with a small penis let me assure all of you ladies (and average and above average endowed men) we know we have a small penis. Nothing in the world we can do about it other than accept it. Now, I know my penis is totally functional, it’s just short which makes some positions difficult (you can forget spooning or doggy), but I don’t have a micropenis or anything like that.

    The best course of action if your partners penis is smaller than you would like is to be honest with them. Trust me, it won’t be a surprise. All men measure their equipment. I’ve known I was small since I was 14. I’m married and have been for 21 years. Yes, my wife told me years ago it was a little small for her, so we use toys, oral, fingers, etc. Sex doesn’t have to be all about the penis. Be creative.

  2. I always thought I had a average to large penis until I got with my current girlfriend. She always speaks her mind and that’s what I love about her. She always use to say I had a “cute willy” but I never thought anything of it. Then one day she asked if I’d shave my penis totally. I did and when she saw it she literally pointed, laughed and said “it looks like a little boys!” At the time I was a little hurt and shocked but since we have both enjoyed trying SPH CBT cuckold and our sex life couldn’t be better!

  3. Take heart in the fact that a smaller penis makes oral MORE comfortable for you! And realize that HE may be much more capable at returning the favor than the more well-endowed (who never had to learn!).

  4. Honesty works best.if he’s not a man,its better to tell him so he can quit breaking his back trying to get you an orgasm.it makes the sex life simple.i watch tv during sex,because my bf does nothing for me.but I still let him have it when he wants it

  5. I overheard a couple guys talking at work a while back, where one guy, a new young dad said, “I wish the doctor had thrown an extra stitch in the old lady’s hoochi-hole.” The other guy responded, “you just have a little dick, man.” The young dad said, “F#@K YOU!”

    Anyways, sometimes it is about the guy, and sometimes it is about the woman. Hopefully they love each other and work things out, After all, a woman can get herself off with a single finger and never penetrate herself. Figure out how SHE does that for herself, and then YOU do it for her.

  6. I would say if she thinks it’s small then it’s obviously not for her, and she should break up with the guy instead of lie to him. Don’t betray someone’s trust just to make them feel happy when it’s actually an important issue. Let him find someone who doesn’t have a problem with it and feels that it’s just right. If it’s too skinny then sex is obviously important to you and unless you think otherwise, where sex isn’t everything, most likely it will not work. Absolutely don’t build a relationship on lies, break it off. You could be honest but it will hurt his self esteem even if you tell him it’s just not what you’re used to. Though he needs to realize that there is someone out there who thinks it’s perfect.
    Speaking from experience, I’m around 4.5″ long and 4.5″ girth, still looking for that someone myself. :/

  7. We are as males too small or too big, no middle ground, trying to satisfy a woman is impossible.

  8. Dear Em & Lo; the guys,
    I am writing in disagreement to your advice. You each wrote that the woman asker should lie. I have two main issues with this.
    1. It treats the man as if he were deserving of something, when in fact we know he is undeserving (you’ll recall the asker implied strongly that the man’s penis was small, not big).
    2. It creates a liar out of the superior which could lessen her God given chances of gaining entrance into the kingdom of heaven.
    Approximately 76% of all living humans (all living females plus 50.000000001% of males), are born with some chance of going to heaven. The asker might be female or above average sized male, in which case your “advice” really serves as insubbordination. Where you probably think that you have simply tacitly turned a blind eye toward the deadly sin of owning/possessing a smaller than average dick, you more likely have failed a sexual overlord’s challenge. If the latter proves true, your spiritual worth has decreased by at least .001 pounds of penis. Thus, depending on how much your penis weighs, you run the risk of becoming a sexual underling (as well as the acomponying eternity of damnatation). For an exorbitant fee, I can tinker with your scale so as to render the weight readout higher. This often fools Saint Peter into thinking that your dick meets the requisite weight minimum necessary for gaining entrance into the kingdom of God. Deal?
    With springs, coils, and levers,

  9. I’m a 40 y/o guy who has been around the block a few times. I love women, but some (most?) have no idea what an “inch” is. I have been called everything for “average” to “huge” (and probably have even been called “small” behind my back too). My penis is 7.5″ bpel (bone-pressed-erect-length) and a modest 5″ to maybe 5.25″ girth. It fits in the toilet paper roll, but just barely touches the sides- the head and some shaft sticks out of the roll. (Be aware that some TP companies have made the rolls larger to make it seem that you are getting more TP, but in actuality you are just getting a wider cardboard cylinder- so this test varies). My point is that you have to take what some women say about “inches” with a grain of salt- most have a distorted view of what an inch is. One of my exes thought I was 9″??? I also knew a girl who thought more than half of her unusually long index finger was an inch.
    I also have seen plenty of naked men in real life. I wish I could say the average man is 5.5″ like some studies say, but I don’t think that is the case. I think most men that I have seen are at least 6.5″ inches. Many are much bigger and also have more girth than the average 4.75″. Sadly, a good percentage have much more girth than my best measurement of 5.25″.
    Girls- don’t even mention size unless you are saying it is bigger than normal. Guys- don’t ask, and don’t forget- the best thing about having an average (or small) penis is the anal and great blow jobs. Girls can really swirl their tongues around an average sized penis if they know what they are doing.
    If nothing else, go get laid and then move to a different town where nobody knows it is too small.

    1. Ha ha… the ol’ “what common household objects will my dick fit in” test.

      Agreed: people have no idea what an inch looks like.

    2. Curse those toilet paper companies for manufacturing larger cardboard rolls that create unrealistic penile expectations for the average man. Don’t they know we stick our dicks in those? Don’t they realize how those bigger rolls make us feel?

    3. I was thinking the same thing, I hate larger scale penises cuz giving oral frequently is soothing to me and it just doesn’t work on a bigger one. And don’t even think about anal! Besides, penetration isn’t that important. It’s all the things leading up to that, naked massages, oral, fingering, teasing…Intercourse is just for finishing, the last few moments of pounding sexual aggression before we go back to doing something else nonsexual. If you’re not great at penetration, at least hone your other skills and you’ll be swell!

      1. Judy, will you please put all this on billboards across our great country?! Maybe you could sky-write it too. Then put it on a bunch of t-shirts and cannon-ball the shirts into the crowds at ball games? Men need to hear this — you could singlehandedly be responsible for improving the national level of sexual confidence amongst men who think their penis is too small.

        1. Hi ladies, i think you 2 make fantastic points but honestly as a guy with 6.5 inches. I can make my gf come and squirt with penis and fingers but knowing shes had a bigger guy do the same just makes you feel inadequate like thats what a woman wants when you add in all the shit stories of women wanting big dick lol its what you percive from society growing up.

  10. I have to say, I am a smaller guy, im only around 5″, and its only been the last few years that I have been a bit more paranoid about it, mainly due to one woman who told me I did nothing for her during sex.
    Since her , I have had several partners, my ex told me that I was the best she has ever had, despite having had a lot bigger.
    She put it down to the way I touch her, the way I made her feel and how attentive I am.
    My current partner is very much the same, ive been with her for around 5 months now, and I don’t think a day has gone by where I haven’t told her how beautiful she is.
    I think also what helps is that she knows I mean every word I say.
    She hasn’t got a model figure, she has had 4 kids and has the stretch marks and extra weight to prove it, which she is herself a bit paranoid about, but ive told her she should be proud of those marks as she has 4 great kids and she is the one that brought them into the world.
    But back to the main point, I think guys think about size too much, me included, me and my lady are so into each other , and we explore each other and are completely comfortable with each other, we are completely honest with each other and we talk about what we like most.
    I am not so worried about my size now, would I like it to be bigger, sure, but what can I do about it, nothing, but I do think one thing it has made me is a better lover.
    My girlfriend has never lied to me, she has said that im one of the smaller guys ive had, but there are things that I have made her do that no one else has.
    I think what you lack in one area, you make up for in others.
    Ive loved reading some of the comments on here, and its great to get a perspective from the opposite sex.
    But my final advice to anyone like me, treat a woman like a princess, learn your trade, watch videos on how to if need be, and learn about a womans G spot, you would be surprised how many guys just don’t know about it.
    and finally, love like you would like to be loved.

  11. As a guy, you should really not allow yourself to waste any of your life feeling unhappy about your penis. If it’s small so what! What if you had no hands! You would be a lot less fortunate and be sitting in pleasure street way less than you can with hands and any size penis. I am around normal size perhaps a bit thicker than is typical, my opinion based on all feedback, porn and showers (15 at a time) at boarding school. I don’t feel inadequate in anyway, and you should just be real, why be concerned, did you somehow fuck up and get delivered a small one, NO you had no control on what you got, so just use it to get as much pleasure as you desire and think what if it got cutoff or you had no hands?.

    I happen to only feel guilty (in a horny way) that the thought of a big cock that made my girl cum more than she ever has and also that she would be feeling a bit of guilt, that I can tell and hear that it’s awesome is pure fantasy. I’m into my GF experiencing pleasure not imagining shit that is you have the ability to replace with a sexlife of your choosing. Don’t be tricked that your cock is not for your pleasure and it’s all about someone else. Girls don’t go out with or date a cock. If your a cock, then you might have to advertise for sex with deaf and blind girls to increase the chances of getting sex. Hey if that’s all you got is a big cock and that was all you needed for happiness, then the allure and attraction of a lady would be a lot less powerful and be way less demand! What ever cock you got, let your girl know you don’t care about its size, you care about yours and her pleasure. Oh and don’t be a fake and be keen as for a threesome setup by the wife, and then tell her before she could ever say her fantasy that bullshit you could never share her, your not sharing her, you are giving her an experience that she trusts you to give her.

    If you are freaked by the thought of her fantasy, you are scared of something else that is fake. She can’t have a threesome without you allowing it. She would be having an experience that is about her pleasure not something being taken from you. Girls are just scared to tell you cause you aren’t trusted enough to be told.

    My Girl was super surprised that I made her feel completely ok to tell me any fantasy without any judging. That is true intimacy you’ll be creating if you create total fearless environment that your girl will tell anything you ask, cause you aren’t thinking of anything but equal total truth, she will feel more turned on than she thought was possible unless you believe her mind has no purpose in the stimulation department. If that was the case, by now girls would be so over the little human cocks and be banging whatever stage in the continuing trend bigger and bigger penis evolutionary path that is pa for the story in that imaginary bullshit world that comments about her being only looking for a big dick. It’s probably more disappointing to know the number of woman that don’t care about any attribute of your cock and expect that wife is an oath you have sworn too and you can get used to the idea she can’t be bothered and has never enjoyed it, that is the worst scenario that will happen more and more with decreasing health etc.

  12. My previous boyfriends have been small to average in size compared to my present guy which has a large penis., And after getting used to him I have to say I like them bigger.

  13. Joan gets to racist stereotype and no one calls her out and her comment doesn’t get deleted?? Typical bs troll.

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