Wise Guys: What Makes a Great BJ?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What’s the difference between an average blowjob and an excellent blowjob?”

Straight Single Guy (Chris): I have had a handful of extraordinary blowjobs in my lifetime. Generally I say something to any talented giver, pointing out how noteworthy her skills are. One lovely woman asked me to explain why I thought it was so good. I thought about it for a minute and I think my answer to her is the same answer to this question:

  • Enthusiasm. You’ve got to enjoy what you do.
  • Vigor. You’ve got to do it like you want to finish the job.
  • Lubrication. You can’t be afraid of a little saliva.

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): The thing that really separates the ho-hum BJ from the eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of-my-head one is undoubtedly passion and enthusiasm. Of course, there are many technical aspects that come into play, but even the most experienced, tongue-twisting mouth would be boring if there was no desire behind it. So, if you want to give a guy an excellent blowjob, get into it. There is nothing sexier for me than when the person blowing me is performing enthusiastically and getting turned on while doing so. I understand blowjobs are not everyone’s  cup of tea. So it’s time to play-act a little. Find out what your man likes and go for it full tilt booty. Hopefully you’ll get something equally excellent in return. Oh, and just in case somehow someone missed the memo,  the cardinal rule of blowjobs is NO TEETH.

Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): No teeth, and a lot of practice. Problem is, women don’t know how it feels to have your dick sucked, and how it should or shouldn’t be done — and we guys aren’t about to tell them how.  We’re far too grateful to be on the receiving end to interrupt with helpful hints.  We just lay back, relax, and hope it doesn’t grate too much.

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Manflet, our Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. I love giving head… all the time… but there are two things that are automatic turnoffs for me… if you grab the back of my head and gag me, I instantly want to stop pleasing you because you just pissed me off. I know what I am doing, and I know what my limits are. If you signal to me that I am not doing good “enough”…. then suck it your damn self.
    The second thing is, I swallow… if you refuse to kiss me after… don’t expect me to swallow anymore. It’s disrespectful to me not to want my tongue in your mouth regardless of what was just in there. Don’t be rude.

    So if my man doesn’t do these things, I will give you head any time you can handle it. =]

  2. How has no one mentioned oral stimulation of the balls? My husband positively melts when I stop for a moment and proceed to lick and suck his balls. He will stroke himself while I do this and it makes him bonkers!

    He calls me the blowjob queen. I’ve earned it!

  3. yah condoms take away alot of feeling for the guy but im sure he’ll survive. haha um i think being excited and willing to give a bj is key to giving him confidence in knowing that youre comfortable and ok with every thing. mabe if you wanted to start the turn-ons: a big one ive found is gently sucking on his ear lobe and breathing light warm breaths into his ear. itl drive him crazy. also feel him up, rub his arms and legs slowly and sensualy. When ‘its’ out dont dive right in … make him wait a few moments in anticipation… apriciating his body and loving him. but dont wait too long. OK so FIRST take the very tip, the head, into your mouth (its the most sensitive part of his penis) get his head good and wet with your mouth and suck. listen to his moans of pleasure. (hehe, hes al yours now) then slowly put the whole thing in your mouth. after you get everything lubricated well and a good rythym of his penis going in and out take it out and quikly switch to hand if your mouth needs a break. once you feel his penis getting dry its time to continue blowing. while youre stroking his penis in your mouth do some strokes shorter and longer than each. keep it random and exciting. then if youre feeling risky ever so gently introduce your teeth for one or two strokes at a time. to many strokes with your teeth may cause irritation even though he’ll be moaning. then as you feel his penis flex and as he’s reaching an orgasm its your choice to swallow, spit or finish off with a hand job. dont forget while youre giving a bj to cup his balls and feel his body.
    ~hope this helps!

  4. I love giving blowjobs! And swallowing. Bring it on, I love seeing a man enjoying himself! And if anyone would have any power in that scenario, I think it would be the person with their teeth closest to the other persons genetalia. Not that I would! You know… just saying 😉

  5. Some women don’t like giving blow jobs. For many different reasons. Personally I think if you really, really don’t like it, don’t do it. Everyone has their different hang ups.

    I like doing it, but not everyday. It is something that can take a lot of effort on the woman’s part. I find that the more enthusiastic you are the easier it is. And doing it a lot would probably take that enthusiasm away from me. One pointer I would suggest is condom free. ( Obviously this doesn’t apply if it’s a one night stand as you don’t know what nasties they may have.) I know someone who only gives head with a condom because she hates semen in her mouth. I feel sorry for her guy.

    One thing I do believe in is that there should be an equal amount of give and take. Most women absolutely love when a guy goes down on them. And they love it when the man does it without being asked. Some women like it more than sex itself. Personally I think, depending on my mood, they are about equal on the pleasure scale. There can be nothing hotter than looking down and watching your man going for it.

    One last thing, to all guys out there. There is one thing girls don’t appreciate when giving a blow job. And that’s pushing her head down for a deep throat affect and not releasing her if she pushes her head back up. I know it feels good right back in the throat but if it’s forced upon it’s disrespectful and completely uncalled for behaviour.

  6. Nervousmark thank you so much 4 ur thoughts! I think they were great. U should have just written the whole thing. I will use some of this in the future. I was once very anti- bj… when I was younger but I’ve become more open w/ it w/ the different guys I been with. I have found that just knowin that I’m makin him happy makes me happy which makes me get into it even more. It’s not like I do it all the time but when it does happen I can only hope they’re enjoyin it as much as I’m giving it to him.

  7. Anything that I’ve said that helps others in anyway is very gratifying to me. I’m no guru by any means. I like this site very much because they promote thoughtful communication as a main key to improvement…and we all have areas we can improve in.


  8. Thanks for sharing Nervousmark 🙂 I have a wonderful husband and love to give BJs (apparently he says I’m super good) but I’ve gained a few pointers so thank you!

  9. Mark should’ve just written the actual article, ha! Thanks for the detailed honesty, you’ve actually given me some new ideas.

    Overall, I feel the same way as Elizabeth; and interestingly, even when I’m not necessarily chomping at the bit to give him one (sorry, bad mental image), the knowledge of how much he’ll enjoy it is more than enough for me to get into it. Plus, knowing I’m giving him that kind of pleasure is a HUGE turn-on; which, in the case of the pre-sex blowjob, makes intercourse even better for both of us. Give and ye shall receive.

  10. The difference between a good BJ and a mind-blowing experience is hands down the givers genuine enjoyment of the activity. I can actually climax giving them—my boyfriend gets soo excited knowing how hot it makes me.

  11. Nervousmark great posts and advice you seem to know exactly what you like and aren’t afraid to express it(in detail)link was great thanks.But don’t believe any woman who doesn’t innately love it can learn to -as for me its like breathing

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