We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
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Dear Em & Lo,
Intellectually, I get porn and how it works for guys. I myself like the occasional erotica collection. But emotionally, I still can’t help but feel really bad when I stumble upon some of my live-in boyfriend’s “smut.” We have a sort of don’t ask, don’t tell policy regarding porn, but it’s hard to hide 100% of the time. Most days I can forget about it — a sort of forced denial — but when I really think about it, it just depresses me. Sometimes I wonder if it negatively affects our sex life: if I’m not in the mood, he turns to porn, he gets satisfied there, then doesn’t initiate sex with me, and he keeps not initiating sex with me because porn will always be in the mood. I just came across this Male Anti-Masturbation Movement thing via your site and can’t help but wonder if something like that might be good for our relationship — if he took a break from porn and focused on me, I’d feel better about the sex and not just feel like a porn substitute, which would make me want to have sex more. I’m not saying “ban all porn!” I’m just wondering if you agree that a porn diet might actually benefit our relationship…? And if so, how I should go about suggesting it…?
— Torn About Porn
What should T.A.P. do? Let her know in the comments section below.
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