Personal Essays
Why I Won’t Ever Regret Getting My Tubes Tied at 28

by Chelsea Hottovy for YourTango  |  photo via flickr What I want is to be happy. I’m often told that I’d make a good mother. Depending on my relationship with the person making this wildly incorrect statement, I have one of two reactions: either a small, insincere smile and a “mmmm” response that does not […]

Pop Culture
Dick of the Week: William Giraldi

photo via flickr William Giraldi wrote a personal essay for The Baffler called “This Brat’s for You.” Have you encountered this polished turd being bandied about the internet yet? In the piece, Giraldi bemoans the fact that he got paternity leave from his employer for the birth of his first child, became so utterly bored by […]

How To
7 Ways to Fight the “Mommy Problem” from Within Your Relationship

photo via Wikimedia Commons We loved Heather Havrilesky’s “Mommy Problem” article in the Times this past weekend, about how “the culture demands that every mother be all in, all the time.” And we’re not alone, clearly: We’ve lost count of the number of our friends who have given it the “yep” response in their Facebook […]

Personal Essays
I Took My Kids to the Jeff Koons Retrospective (Oops)

from the Jeff Koons retrospective at the Whitney My family had an opportunity to visit New York City for a full week recently. It was the longest my husband and I (the Lo half of Em & Lo) had been there since having kids. Before breeding, we’d lived there for years, gorging on the countless cultural opportunities […]

Comment: It’s Not Appropriate to Teach Your Kids About Oral

A reader calling themselves “Normal Person” (as opposed to the rest of you perverts, we suppose?) took us to task for our list of “10 Things We Will Tell Our Sons About Sex.” For the record, our sons are both three, so our Serious Conversations with them are currently limited to the importance of sharing toys, […]

How To
Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Sons About Sex

Remember how we said we accidentally bred on the same schedule and both have six-year-old daughters? Well, we weren’t kidding about that breeding schedule — we also each have three-year-old sons. So it’s only fair that, after publishing the Top 10 Things We’ll Tell Our Daughters About Sex, we should write a follow-up list for […]

How To
Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Daughters About Sex

The two of us accidentally bred on the same schedule, which means we both have six-year-old daughters. We have long joked about the hazards of being both sex writers and parents (and in a small town, too, no less): What will they say at the P.T.A.? What if our daughters stumble across one of our […]

Pop Culture
Dads Suffer Too: Helping Bereaved Fathers Cope with Loss

Tara Shafer is the founder of, a site dedicated to helping parents cope with pregnancy and infant loss, especially through story sharing.  The German poet Friedrich Ruckert once wrote: “O you, refuge of your father/light of joy/extinguished all too soon” in reference to the death of his child. Following the stillbirth of our son in 2005, my […]

10 Father’s Day Gifts That Have Nothing to Do with the Barbecue

Crosley Portable Turntable Yeah, yeah, we get it: Dad likes to barbecue meaty things. But did it ever occur to you that maybe Dad likes sensual massage or a little butt play, too? Okay, so these aren’t necessarily the gifts that you’d give to your own father, but for the father of your own children? […]

Blurring the Line Between Sperm Donor and Father

We were fascinated by the article in the New York Times this past weekend about the custody battle between actor Jason Patric and his massage therapist ex (and not just because the notoriously publicity-shy Patric talkied to Katie Couric on national television to get his side of the dispute out there). Here’s the story, in […]