13 Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gifts That Don’t Totally Suck

Flowers are okay. But moms like other stuff too: soft stuff, scented stuff, stress-relieving stuff, sexy stuff. Okay, so maybe you don’t want to get your Mom (or the mother of your children) something inappropriate for Mother’s Day. But let’s try to think outside the vase. There are loads of cool expensive things to buy available on noveltystreet so it’s all just a case of deciding your budget and her taste. You could opt to gift her something that you’ve seen cribbing her about! What about the lines along the crease of her eyes and the wrinkles that she complains and worries about all the time? You could gift her something to alleviate her skincare problems with something like the range of Biopelle products! This could bring a smile to your mother’s face, for sure.

Nonetheless, below are some great gifts (for any budget) that she’ll really appreciate as a living, breathing human being (not a “domestic goddess”). All are available online with expedited shipping (except the cake — you’ve got put some elbow grease into that one.) Whatever you do, don’t get her another Edible Arrangement!


“Relax Me” Fizzy Bath Balls

$6 each

These individually wrapped balls turn a bath into a bubbly cocktail of aromas and soothing salts. A calming mixture of luscious oils, baking soda, and intoxicating fragrance, Relax Me is the perfect ending to Mom’s extra-long day (and they’re all extra-long). Choose from English Lavender, Pear Vanilla, Pomegranate Mint, or Morning Dew. They’re body-safe and animal-product free, contain natural ingredients, and are made in the USA.


“I Take You” Novel


It’s the smartest, sexiest, funniest (like, hilarious) beach read on the shelves right now! If she’s a little saucy, your mom’ll love it.


Soft Sleeping Mask


Help Mom get a better night’s rest with soft and comfortable mask. The elastic band allows for a snug fit without putting undue pressure on the eyes. And, hey, if she can find another use for it — wink, wink, kink, kink — good for her!


Luna Beads


Know a new mom? Or maybe an older one with sneeze-pee issues? Help them out with the best selling Kegel exercisers in the world: Luna Beads are designed to strengthen and tone pelvic floor muscles to improve pelvic health (which will probably intensify orgasms, but you don’t have to tell Mom that if you don’t want to). Made from body-safe materials and easy to clean, Luna Beads can be worn one or two at a time for a custom workout.


Rhubarb Rose Cake


Okay, this one you don’t buy, you bake. But it goes great with champagne! According to creator Molly Shuster on Eat Boutique, “Paired with some loose garden flowers and bubbly champagne, this cake makes a very festive spread for my Mom on her special day. This little cake conveys a lot of my appreciation, but most importantly, it allows a little time to share a toast, a conversation, and some good laughs.” Aw, sweet, sensual, not sucky! The how-to’s are here.


Contour Ceramic Massage Stones


Who needs massage therapy more than moms? This award-winning, body-friendly, double-fired porcelain massager by JimmyJane is hygienic, non-porous, and easy to clean. These versatile massagers can be warmed up or cooled down for added sensation and their shapes allow for limitless possibilities for sensual or deep-tissue massage techniques (dome face down for long, smooth strokes, or flipped over for pressure point stimulation with the rounded corners).


Flickering Touch Massage Candle


Made from all natural soy wax, Shea butter and apricot kernel oil, Lelo’s Flickering Touch Massage Candle melts into a pool of luxurious massage oil designed to nourish and moisturize skin with natural vitamin E. These Lelo candles have a burn-time of up to 35-hours and come in three light scents: Black pepper & pomegranate; snow pear and cedarwood; vanilla and creme de cacao.


“What Makes a Baby” Book


It’s not exactly a sensual gift, but almost any mom will feel warm and fuzzy reading this awesomely inclusive book of reproductive love to their kids. Visually engaging, informative, and supportive, “What Makes a Baby” explains to kids from any kind of family where they came from. It’s a great jumping-off point for more discussion with kids about bodies and families by a certified sexuality educator (Cory Silverberg) and an award-winning artist/illustrator (Fiona Smyth). For preschool-age 8.


“Fifty Shades of Grey” Movie


If your mom was a fan (and, really, what mom wasn’t?), then getting her her own copy of the first “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie is a no brainer: she can watch it (and re-watch it and re-watch it…) whenever she wants! It’s got an unrated version (aw yeah), an alternate ending (probably better), and a teaser for “Fifty Shades Darker.” The DVD comes out Friday, but you can preorder today and choose 1-day shipping to get it there by Mom’s Day.


Burberry for Women Eau de Parfum


Steer clear of the trashy celebrity perfumes by the likes of Paris Hilton and Britney, and go for pure, classic class: Burberry for Women Eau de Parfum is a fresh and sensual fragrance with fruity top notes of blackcurrant, fresh green apple and bright bergamot. Heart notes of cedar wood, jasmine, and moss are intensified with warm notes of sandalwood for a rich and sensual tone. Warm notes of musk and vanilla smooth the base. Presented in a glass, 100ml bottle. Made in France, natch.


Yoga for Beginners Boxed Set


If Mom isn’t into yoga yet, it’s just a matter of time. Help her pull the yoga trigger with this popular 3-DVD box set that contains Yoga for Stress Relief, AM-PM Yoga for Beginners, and Essential Yoga for Inflexible People (and you know what flexibility is good for). Forty different routines focus on different physical and mental aspects of yoga, such as building strength, improving flexibility, reducing stress, etc.


Molton Brown Seamoss Stress-Relieving Hydrosoak


Is Mom in need of a deep-sea de-stress? Of course she is! She can dive into the blue waters of Molton Brown’s oceanic bath salts, made with marine extracts, Dead Sea salts and horse chestnut. The scent is energizing and the scrub clarifying.


Original Magic Wand


Okay, okay, we know. But seriously, this is an awesome stress-melting back massager. Really. Whatever else Mom might figure out to do with it in the privacy of her own bedroom is her business — you don’t need to know about it.