Our contributor Abby Spector, who is majoring in Feminine/Gender/Sexuality Studies at Wesleyan University, confesses which traditionally “sexy” things she finds absolutely unsexy:

1. Passivity. Women often mistake having an opinion for being bitchy, and so opt for submissiveness. But life’s better when it’s real, so speak up and be honest. There’s nothing wrong with taking the mature role and walking away from an argument, but don’t sit there idly by if you feel strongly about something. If it’s important, be proactive.
2. Being the other woman. I can understand the appeal: it’s taboo, it’s secret, it’s dangerous. However, in the long run, adultery causes more harm then good. Put things out on the table—be honest with yourself and others.
3. Thongs. The idea of a piece of string sitting in my ass crack for 24 hours makes no sense. Unless you fart air freshener and poop diamonds, the string is inevitably gonna get gross.
4. Boob jobs. If you want to play with rubber, go to the tire shop.
5. Older men. I’ve never understood why Grandpa Zeus was able to bone so many nymphs? Not only do I find them unattractive in comparison to their younger, more physically fit counterparts, but the fact that they are able to stoop to SUCH a young age says something about their persona (aka—a fifty year age difference is creepy).
6. High heels. It’s true—long legs are appealing. Blisters and broken ankles are not. If you can walk in high hells props to you. I for one cannot. And, to be honest, I think many women lie about their comfort level in this satanic footwear.
7. Talking like a baby. Why do some women insist on purposely raising the pitch of their voice and talking like they just got a Barbie Dream House? It doesn’t make them sound sexy, just stupid. And those high-pitched giggles? They hurt people’s ears. So do yapping pint-sized dogs named Princess. So stop imitating Paris Hilton!
8. Bleached assholes. That just sounds painful.
9. Whipped cream. A minute of foam will turn into an hour of mess. Does that seem worth it?
10. Losing your virginity. The reality can never live up to the  picture-perfect fantasy.   The idea of “the first time” is built up as a beautiful, romantic, sexy thing when, in reality, it’s usually none of these. Who actually orgasms the first time? Who leaves thinking “Wow, that was just like the steamy car scene in Titanic?” If your first bone-sesh was with the love of your life on a bed sprinkled in rose petals, awesome for you. But you are in the minority

— Abby Spector