Sharing a fantasy with a partner can be a cheap and easy way to foster intimacy, build trust, and kink things up. But it takes a lot of courage to do. What if you think yours is too mundane to put into words (remember Meg Ryan’s faceless stranger fantasy in When Harry Met Sally?). Or what […]
If you don’t have a favorite sexual fantasy, then you haven’t spent enough time dirty–day dreaming. Inspiration surrounds you — you just have to seek it out. Browse a sex toy shop, in person or online, for some new gadgets, accessories, videos, or books. Kinky erotica like Anne Rice’s The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty or […]
What is forbidden in the real world can sometimes make for a fun romp between consenting adults (who’ve explicitly outlined their boundaries and agreed on a safe word). It’s called roleplaying, and there are two components that can really help you get into character: 1) the right outfits, and 2) a backstory with emotional tension, […]
[Editors note: FYI, we at EMandLO.com prefer the term “ravishment fantasy” to further distinguish it from actual rape, since the difference has everything to do with the control Dr. Ley describes below. However, since this is a syndicated column, we’ll keep the original language in tact.] by Dr. David Ley for YourTango One of the hardest presentations I’ve ever given […]
There are popular themes that come up again and again in people’s fantasies. We’re curious if they figure in your dirty thoughts. We created two polls, one for ladies and, below that, one for men. If your favorite fantasy isn’t listed here, let us know what it is in the comments below! Check back later […]
Dear Em & Lo, I like this man so much. But I called him my ex’s name when he was going down on me and I wasn’t even thinking of my ex or anything! I was with my ex for 2 years and this guy 3 months. I’m done with my ex but the new […]
Matt, one of our best commenters, took issue with reader Jo’s claim — made in response to “Wise Guys: How Often Do Men Think of Someone Else During Sex?” — that fantasizing about someone other than your partner during sex is “a bit rapey”: Jo, you’re taking things that are well within the spectrum of what most people would call […]
We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. Dear Em & Lo, I’m just about as […]
Something’s Gotta Give: Jack Nicholson chooses mother over daughter Reader Momma wrote the following in response to our post, “Your Call: When Your Partner’s Fantasies Are Seriously Disturbing.” Before leaping to judgment, dear readers, consider this: The couple below can talk about anything. They trust each other completely, and this has led to them being completely […]
photo via WeHeartIt Dear Em & Lo, I’m 34 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I was molested as a child and raped as an adult. I’ve never had consensual sex. Yet I have intensely sexual dreams. I’ve had years of counseling, but the fear of having a sexual relationship remains. I isolate myself from […]
There is perhaps no sexual fantasy that disturbs people more than the rape fantasy. Even people in committed, loving relationships who have successfully navigated such a fantasy with massive amounts of communication and trust can feel weird about it. Readers often ask us, “What’s wrong with me that I’m into this?” Well, as we have […]
photo via flickr Advice from three of our guy friends. A while back, one woman wanted to know “Why do men masturbate in relationships, even when the sex is good and regular?” In his response, Max (one of our Single Straight Guys) said, “Trust me: You don’t want to do the things that we’re thinking […]
Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri: I am big into pain while having sex, and I am also into vampires. My fiance and I live together and he knows about […]
photo via flickr Last week we published two excerpts from Tracey Cox’s new book Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True, which is available now on Amazon for your Kindle. (Tracey’s Dare product range is also available at LoveHoney.) The first excerpt explained how fantasizing can improve your relationship, and the second was the hilarious/cringe-inducing/enlightening/still kind of hot […]
Earlier this week we published an excerpt from Tracey Cox’s awesome new book, Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True, which is available now on Amazon for your Kindle. The excerpt explains how and why fantasizing can improve your sex life. Today, in a second excerpt from the book, a British woman named Madison (you’ll notice some […]
Awesome gender-swapped version of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” by Mod Carousel Reader Simple Girl said the following in response to our post, “Wise Guys: Do Men Have Rape Fantasies, Too?” I have fantasies about raping my boyfriend.. Just rip him apart while he’s tied to a bed or something. I just wanna see how […]
