Dear Em & Lo, I’m writing to ask you about your opinion of rape fantasies. I’ve been in a serious and loving relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years now. It’s a very egalitarian, loving, supportive and comfortable relationship. Yet both my boyfriend and I immensely enjoy acting out rape fantasies. We enjoy having […]
Are there no decent men in the world? NY Attorney General Eric Schneiderman was supposed to be one of the good ones, a champion of the #MeToo Movement who was going after alleged serial sexual assaulter and rapist, Harvey Weinstein. But then The New Yorker (which might seriously need to consider changing its name to “To […]
[Editors note: FYI, we at EMandLO.com prefer the term “ravishment fantasy” to further distinguish it from actual rape, since the difference has everything to do with the control Dr. Ley describes below. However, since this is a syndicated column, we’ll keep the original language in tact.] by Dr. David Ley for YourTango One of the hardest presentations I’ve ever given […]
After over fifteen years in this business, we’ve seen and heard a lot. There was the couple asking about how they could get their golden retriever to consensually have sex with the wife while the husband watched. There was the morgue worker wondering if he could get STDs from the corpses. There was the “gentleman” Em […]
There are popular themes that come up again and again in people’s fantasies. We’re curious if they figure in your dirty thoughts. We created two polls, one for ladies and, below that, one for men. If your favorite fantasy isn’t listed here, let us know what it is in the comments below! Check back later […]
Sometimes a reader comment demands more than just a “thumbs down” or a two-sentence rebuttal. Sometimes it warrants its own full-length post. J Male’s recent response to “Why Women Have Ravishment and Rape Fantasies” was one such comment. Our reply is below his: “Rape fantasies were a way [for women] to avoid taking blame for their […]
Matt, one of our best commenters, took issue with reader Jo’s claim — made in response to “Wise Guys: How Often Do Men Think of Someone Else During Sex?” — that fantasizing about someone other than your partner during sex is “a bit rapey”: Jo, you’re taking things that are well within the spectrum of what most people would call […]
We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. Dear Em & Lo, I’m just about as […]
There is perhaps no sexual fantasy that disturbs people more than the rape fantasy. Even people in committed, loving relationships who have successfully navigated such a fantasy with massive amounts of communication and trust can feel weird about it. Readers often ask us, “What’s wrong with me that I’m into this?” Well, as we have […]
Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri: I am big into pain while having sex, and I am also into vampires. My fiance and I live together and he knows about […]
Awesome gender-swapped version of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” by Mod Carousel Reader Simple Girl said the following in response to our post, “Wise Guys: Do Men Have Rape Fantasies, Too?” I have fantasies about raping my boyfriend.. Just rip him apart while he’s tied to a bed or something. I just wanna see how […]
Dear Em & Lo, I’m not sure if I’m going to word this correctly, but here it goes. I’m 20 years old and am engaged to a wonderful man who has blessed me with a son. Before I met him I had a bad life and I had been raped 3 times. Lately during sex […]
We wrote a post here a while back about research into men’s and women’s fantasy lives — and in particular, how often this sort of research is willfully misinterpreted. That got us wondering what other new fantasy research might be out there… and we came across a fascinating study about why women have rape fantasies […]
From Claire, in response to the post “Wise Guys: Do Men Have Rape Fantasies Too?” I just want to say that I am very very offended by the term “rape fantasy.” The word rape implies something being done to you (completely against your will) that you do not want. It should not be used […]
Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri: I woke up at 3AM and had a little trouble falling back asleep. When I finally fell asleep, I woke up in my […]
Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “You often hear how the rape fantasy is common in the minds of many women. Do men have this fantasy, too?” To ask the guys your own question, click here. Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): I’m sure lots of men have rape […]
