Dream Interpretation: I’m Date-Raped By My Boyfriend

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I woke up at 3AM and had a little trouble falling back asleep. When I finally fell asleep, I woke up in my dream:

Across the room, in another bed is my boyfriend, G. I think about going to cuddle with G and finally get the nerve to ask him. G says yes and we’re touching now. [The dream gets fuzzy here.] Now I’m thinking of ways to tease G. I decide on walking around naked. At some point I bend over. Then I feel G inside me. I’m really confused by what’s going on. After 2 seconds I think G has climaxed. I’m still confused and wonder what just happened. I didn’t expect G to do something like that.

In my mind I’m thinking that it’s practically rape. But at the same time I didn’t stop it and might have been open to the idea if he hadn’t taken me by surprise. To clear things up I ask G to apologize for not asking first. He refuses, implying that there’s no need to ask. I don’t want to say the word ‘rape’, but I keep trying to get him to say sorry because I think it’ll make it better. I threaten G that if he doesn’t apologize, I will tell his best friend (and my co-worker, who I see everyday in real life) what happened. I’m implying that I will tell his friend that he raped me. G is surprised and concerned. He still doesn’t believe that he did anything wrong.

Lauri: When we wake up in a dream it means we have had a recent awakening or realization in real life. Your dream takes place in bed – possibly because you may not have gone deep enough into sleep and still had the awareness of being in bed – but on a deeper level, it may have taken place in bed because this dream is about an issue you wish to “put to rest.”

In what way in waking life do you feel you’ve bent over for your boyfriend? Have you recently bent to his wants or bent over backwards for him? From the context of your dream, it seems like you are feeling either unappreciated or “screwed” by him somehow. In the dream you ask him to apologize for not asking first. Can you connect that to something he did in real life? Did he take advantage of your kindness in some way? Did he do something on the assumption you would be okay with it?

The point at which a dream ends is the main point the dream wants to leave you with. Apparently, there is something you are upset with your boyfriend for that he feels isn’t a problem. The message of the dream may be that we teach people how to treat us. Perhaps you have bent to his needs or demands to the point that he no longer feels the need to ask your permission for anything anymore… or if it hasn’t got to that point yet, it will if you don’t put this behavior to rest once and for all, perhaps that is the reality you have woken up to.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.