What Kind of Sex Toy Should I Get My Girlfriend?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

My girlfriend of 9 months doesn’t own a sex toy. I think deep down she’d like one, but she doesn’t have the nerve to get one. She also wouldn’t know where to begin. I don’t either, really. I want to get her something that she won’t find offensive or gross, that she’ll think is cool and not crass. It could be something we use together, but maybe she’d rather use it in private…? Any suggestions would be appreciated!

— Toyless

What should Toyless get?
Let them know in the comments below!


  1. If you’re comfortable and there’s one in your city, I really suggest going to a sex shop. The people who work there are usually really knowledgable about what toys might work best for what you are looking for. If you can’t make it to a store, I’d stick with a vibrator (nothing ridiculously large)– possibly something from Lelo. But I think going to a sex store together would be a great place to start!

    1. Yes, do! AlanK bought me one for Vday and it’s wonderful! I get to play alone, with him (and whatever other playmates we happen to have at the moment)AND I wear it at work.

  2. Maybe this is a conversation you should be having with your girlfriend, rather than the strangers on the internet. You think she would like one, but are you really sure? Is this something really for you, or for her. Surprising her with a sex toy may not go over very well. Then again, talking with her about whether she is interested in a sex toy, and what she would like might lead to you getting her a present, or a the two of you taking a shopping trip.

  3. Avoid those huge toy makers that put porn stars on the boxes. You want something that’s easy on the eyes, comes in nice, inoffensive packaging, and is high quality. So anything by Fun Factory, Lelo or JimmyJane will fit the bill. If you think she’ll be more comfortable using it alone, at least at first, get her something that mimics the way she likes to be touched. For instance, if she’s all about the clit, get her an external vibrator (can look like an egg or a bullet). But if she likes her G-spot probed, get her an internal vibrator that has a curve for the G-spot. If you think she’ll actually use it if YOU initiate, she’ll probably be most comfortable with something that puts the onus on you, so a wearable cock ring that gives you both pleasure would probably be good. Good luck!

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