We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
Dear Em & Lo,
How can I have a lively, engaging conversation with a guy I’ve just met in a social setting (ex: house party, bar, laundromat) without an undercurrent of sex creeping in?
It’s not that I have anything against sex (or party/bar/laundromat hookups). Far from it. I’m an attractive girl in my mid-twenties, and I’ve had my share of sexual adventures (& misadventures). I’m a-okay with flirting, but I feel like it sometimes inhibits the opportunity to get to know these fellows — who seem like decent, interesting, thoughtful people — on a more sincere level.
Honestly, guys get monotonous when they think they’ve caught a whiff of the pussy train. There’s a script to flirting, & it can be a fun one to enact sometimes, but not always. For one, I don’t want to bone every guy I’ve had a 5+ minute conversation with in the room. For another, I often just want to go home alone & watch Top Chef & maybe dwell on all the fascinating things I learned from that great conversation I had at the party.
What can I do to direct the conversation to less-flirt more-substance, but still keep it fun & interesting?
– Platonic Ideal
What should P.I. do? Let her know in the comments below.
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