What Are the Best Dating Sites/Apps for Real Relationships?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

I’ve been a serial monogamist all my life — in high school, and all throughout college. Now I find myself in my mid-20s, newly single, in a new city for a new job, with nothing like school to help me meet new people, except of course for work (and I don’t really want to s@#% where I eat). I’m new to Tinder. Can you tell me if it’s really just for hooking up or if people are looking for real relationships on it? Like, if someone looked interesting and I met up with them, would they expect me to be open to casual sex that night? If it’s the latter, then which online dating site is the best to use if I’m looking for a real relationship? 

— Single White Female

What can S.W.F. do?
Let her know in the comments below!


  1. OKcupid is my fav, Im currently on badoo, tinder, blackloverdating and pof and have been for around 5 years. I met my partner on okc 5 years ago and we’ve been together ever since. I’ve also made a few friends who I stay in touch with and occasionally visit, both plutonic and not. I’d agree with Christine, men usually write a few sentences or sometimes a paragraph or two referring to your profile and actually show interest in your interests. I get messages from all sorts of races which is great as other sites seem to be prominently white (UK Resident). Im in an open relationship so use okc weekly. Also it allows you to filter your messages which is very handy as I get around 3 messages a day. Last thing now, promise. The profile page on okc is very detailed so it gives you more things to talk about with people you like the look of, so you can easily filter out the guys who just looked at your picture and then sent you a message, it also has a % match, so you have dont to waste time with people you have nothing in common with. All in All definitely the best one out there for decent people who are mainly looking for friends or new relationships!!

  2. If you’ve moved to a city, I would suggest OkCupid as your first choice. Out of all the dating sites I’ve tried, I’ve found that to be the most rewarding in terms of finding quality men who are capable of writing full sentences rather than just “hey”, “what’s up”, or my fave “you wanna cuddle?”. It has a sense of humor, which allows men, and you, to show some personality, not just pics of ripped abs or bathroom selfies. I know only a handful whom have met long-term partners on Tinder, even less on Match. Match seems to be for the more straight and narrow, but I could be wrong, as I gave up after the 100th “What’s ups” flooding my inbox. It could be just my area though. I’d say give a few a try and see what suits you best. OkCupid may end up being more like OkStupid for you, but I say give it a go. I met my guy on there and he rocks! Best of luck, S.W.F.

  3. I know a few people who have gotten into serious relationships on Tinder, but as a longtime user, it’s pretty difficult to find people interested in a relationship and while there are certainly plenty of people who wouldn’t expect casual sex after the first date, I think there are plenty who would. Because tinder is so popular, it’ll pretty much give you the most options of any of the apps. If you’re going to stick to tinder, I would spend your time really looking at the guys’s profiles and deciding if you think they could potentially be relationship material. If they are, then spend time talking to them before agreeing to go out on a date. This should give you an idea of whether or not they’d be open to a relationship and not just casual sex. If you’re not glued to the idea of tinder, I would check out Match, eHarmony, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Bumble.

  4. I met my wife through Meetup, which was way less stressful to me than a traditional dating site. You go to events, chat and drink but no expectations of one on one.

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