Wise Guys: Is a Saucy Love Ring a Good Gift for a Dude?

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Would a really nice love ring (a.k.a. c*ck ring) be an appropriate holiday gift for a woman’s new sex partner, boyfriend or husband?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): Definitely! I mean, you’re pretty much giving him the gift of sex. What man in their right mind wouldn’t appreciate that? That being said, you should probably have an electronic something or other to accompany it. As much as we love to play with our own gadget, it’s always great to get a new one.


Single Gay Guy (Abraham Zeus Zapata):  I’ve given c*ck rings to many of my guy friends!!! 100% serious: they make wonderful birthday presents, stocking stuffers, Christmas gifts, Hanukkah favors, Kwanzaa prizes, winter solstice sundries…

Why, you ask? Two reasons:

1. Their girlfriends wanted to, but were too scared to get one for him.
2. Many guys have NO CLUE what the point of them is.

After a verbal tutorial, guys’ eyes would get wide and they’d say “REAAALLY?” to which I’d knowingly nod. On the next encounter there’s always a coy smile on both guy and gal.

Go ahead and exchange some holiday cheer – and let me get your man a Chia Pet instead.


Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): I’d heard of c*ck rings before, but until you asked me this question, I never knew what they were used for. A quick and interesting internet search and now I get the question. Call me old-fashioned, but I would never use one. And if someone purchased one for me I would calmly let them know that I’m open to suggestions to help you get off — vibrators, domination, submission, dirty talk, etc. — but the idea of restricting blood flow out of your penis does not sound safe. The claimed benefits of cock rings are harder erection and make you last longer. So if you’re having issues with either of those (why else would she be buying you a cock ring?) may I suggest do a push up, eat some vegetables, run a lap. Being in good shape does wonders for your erection and sex drive. If the problem is not lasting long enough, the answer is, practice at home. Being a great lover is a gift you and your partner will appreciate.*

*Note from Em & Lo: In the olden days of sex toys, cock rings were mostly solid metal or hardcore leather rings that weren’t necessarily safe, and Wise Guy Ben would have been right to say thanks-but-no-thanks to the gift (those kind of rings are a staple of BDSM play). But a more modern version of rings — often referred to as love rings or couples’ rings, for example the Tor 2 by Lelo — have a very different design and purpose. These rings are kinder, gentler, and more pliable, with a focus on helping stimulate the woman’s clitoris during intercourse — as well as providing a different sensation for the guy… and all this with none of the risk of an embarrassing trip to the E.R. that came along with old-school cock rings!

However, we are publishing Ben’s answer as-is, because we think it’s important to give you an example of how YOUR guy MIGHT react. He might not understand what the toy does or why you’re giving it to him. He might be a little nervous or unsure. He might even be a little bit hurt if he Googles like Ben did and thinks you’re talking about old-school, BDMSM-style rings…  So you need to tell him upfront exactly what this toy will do… for both of you. As Abraham notes, the results will be well worth it!

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Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Single Gay Guy is Abraham Zeus Zapata, an actor, writer and artist living in the Houston area; our Single Straight Guy is Scott Phrenetik, who moonlights as a DJ in Dallas; and our Married Straight Guy is Ben D., a former professional fighter who would now much rather spend time with his wife and baby son than get punched in the face by a sweaty man. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. I once gave myself a good scare with a makeshift cock ring (I used a rappel ring, which is an aluminium ring for rock climbers). It was more of a joke than a sex thing – I just wanted to see what the deal was. Anyway, I got stuck and became frantic. If my quick-thinking lady friend hadn’t saved the day with a bottle of Jergins, I’d probably have hurt myself getting it off.

    That was my first and last experiment with cock rings. I would be open to trying the new, safe kind, if only because I’m slow to learn.

  2. Have several rings, wife loves them,most of all the ones that vibrate! I think they’re fun and add to certain positions, especially when shes on top!! I even had one made that has her name on it, she flipped when she saw that on me the first time!!

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