TV
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The BacheloretteS” (Kaitlyn & Britt’s Season Premiere)

Life began again last night with the premiere of ABC’s “The Bachelorette”— or should we say, “The BacheloretteS”? After all, this season’s big twist was pitting last season’s two favorites — Kaitlyn Potty-Mouth Bristowe and Britt Insincerity’s-My-Middle-Name Nillson — against each other in a Highlander-esque cocktail party where they had to outcharm 25 fairly unimpressive […]

The Best of #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow

We love it when Twitter puts its collective hive mind in the gutter: Today’s top trending hashtag is #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow. Here are some of the best: Faking It #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow — (@destoomuch) April 21, 2015 Leave it to Beaver #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow — Stacey Gaskin (@Stacey_Gaskin) April 21, 2015 #describeyoursexlifeinatvshow naked and afraid — Johnny Hammersticks (@DanielsonKelley) June 19, […]

Making a Bad Show Worse: Turning “The Bachelorette” Into “Highlander”

Well, we’ve made it through another season of The Bachelor. The editors cut the footage with a heavy hand to make us think Chris would ultimately think with his dick and pick the distant, unamused, hot virgin, Becca, instead of the much more sensible choice, Iowa-loving, family-embracing, 100% gung-ho, baby-talking (in ALL senses of the word) […]

Top 10 Life Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Women Tell All)

via The Bachelor’s Twitter feed Last night, we came to the cat fight portion of the season with “The Women Tell All” episode of The Bachelor, in which producers gather together all rejected participants in a room with a live studio audience to watch — and defend — their most humiliating, offensive, mean-spirited and basically […]

Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Iowa + Hometowns)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed It’s kind of ironic that “Fifty Shades of Grey,” with its helipads and helicopters and gliders and penthouses and fancy cars, came out the same weekend “The Bachelor” aired its least glamorous episodes ever, featuring the scent of manure in the air, the shuttered businesses of a 400-person town, the […]

Top 6 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Badlands)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed After such a tepid start, this season of “The Bachelor” has really started delivering on the crazy, thanks in part….okay, all thanks to the evil manipulation of events by the hand-rubbing, mustache-twirling producers. Let’s give the jock the short wedding dress during the mud run competition so she’s sure to win […]

Top 8 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (New Mexico Is a State)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed Okay, it wasn’t the most dramatic rose ceremony ever (because there wasn’t one), but it was the most dramatic episode of this season so far, for sure.  The Emmy for Best Actress in a Reality Show should go to either Britt (“I want 100 kids! I’m an Angelina-Jolie-hot waitress […]

Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Camping, Not Glamping)

photo via @BachelorABC (the caption read: “One of these virginities will be taken tonight.” Brilliant.) The fourth episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” featured more Emmy-worthy editing, from the tiny violins playing over Ashley “Kardashian’s”s tragic princess soliloquy to the close-up shots of her weave to the sad, foreboding music behind Jillian’s tasteless “Who Would You Rather” […]

Top 10 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Wedding “Crashers” Episode)

photo via ABC’s The Bachelor Last night’s third episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” continued the season’s new style of embracing the humor along with the histrionics (often via some heavy-handed editing at the women’s expense). For examples of this trend, see Ellen DeGeneres’s recent season recap: Is Chris Soules so boring that the producers’ only recourse […]

Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Prince Farming’s First Dates)

photo via ABC’s The Bachelor Last night’s second episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” proved to be quite entertaining, despite Prince Farming having the personality of a soybean. The producers seemed to pepper the episode with the kind of zany, kooky, funny stuff usually reserved for the closing credits — in order to make up for Chris […]