New Season of “House of Cards” Starts Off with a Bang

Not a literal bang. A fantasy bang. An erotic narration by one prison cellmate to another as the latter masturbates (this is literally the very first scene, before the opening credits, of Netflix’s season four of its original show, House of Cards). The narrator here is the rather scruffy and depressed-looking Lucas Goodwin, once a respected journalist, now a convicted cyber-terrorist, who got a little too close to exposing President Frank Underwood’s dirty deeds and is now paying the price. The scene is not only a taste of how Goodwin will prostitute himself to get out and get to the truth, it’s also a blunt reminder of how tawdry politics — and this show about politics — can be:

Lucas Goodwin: [sitting on the top bunk in a prison cell, narrating in a soft voice] Mayda slides her fingers in, all the way up to her wedding ring. She pushes you onto your back and leans down. Puts the fingers into your mouth so you can taste them. The gold of the ring… You could taste the sting of the metal on your tongue mixed with the taste of her cunt. She leans down, whispers in your ear, “I love you, Gagik. Ah. I love you.”

Gagik: [jerking off on the bottom bunk] I’m close, man…

Lucas Goodwin: She straddles you, pulls you inside, grinds her hips back and forth, back and forth…

Gagik: [climaxes loudly] Ah, damn, you’re good with words.

[cut to opening credits]