We’re predicting the big pop hit of the summer is here — and it’s a going to be an anthem for girls nights out all over the country. For Christina Aguilera’s new song “Woohoo” featuring Nicki Minaj (from her album Bionic out this June) is all about the joys of cunnilingus. Best line ever: “All the boys think it’s cake when they taste my (woohoo), you don’t even need a plate, just your face, ha.” Ha indeed! Of course, “all the boys” sounds like she’s open for a booming business — and you know, you’ve got to be careful about STDs even with cake tasting (oral herpes can become genital herpes like that!). We also must take issue with a few of the other lines: “I’m a little tipsy, play along with me” suggests women can’t be proud of their vulvas and want them pleasured exclusively unless they’re drunk. Ugh. “I know I probably shouldn’t but uhh I’m feeling good” suggests that good girls shouldn’t enjoy receiving oral attention, since that would be so unladylike. Ugh. That said, the overall message of the song — if you dare to think of this as a “One To Grow On” moment — is that women enjoy and deserve oral sex too. For far too long there’s been an imbalance, especially among young sexually active people, to think fellatio is de rigueur and cunnilingus is de gross. Here’s hoping this song, in all it’s crassness, helps even the playing field. Woohoo!
Em&Lo's Greatest Hits
My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me
Confession: I Want to Do My Boyfriend with a Strap-On
Dear Dr. Kate: Can You Tell Me All About the NuvaRing?