Altoids as Sex Toy: Fact or Fiction?

altoidsphoto by Mistral938

This “curiously strong mint” with sexy ad tag lines (“Pleasure in pain”; “These mints have not yet been rated”; “Shrinkage may occur”; “Dental Damn!”) was the subject of a widely circulated 1997 email extolling the mints’ powers as an oral sex aid. (Hmmmm, we wonder who originally sent that email? Could it be…Altoids?!) The faux email reached widespread urban legend status when it was referenced in that noted collection of hot erotica, Kenneth Starr’s impeachment report: Monica Lewinsky handed the prez a printout of the email while she herself was sucking on an Altoid (cheeky monkey). The jury’s still out on whether it’s all hype — Snopes doesn’t know what to think, and apparently Bill rebuffed Monica’s minty advances, meaning even the Starr Report can’t enlighten us. But if you’re going to, er, look into the matter yourself, sensitive vagina owners beware: getting anything with sugars in and around your sensitive bits might lead to irritation or infection. So do your own research — whether with Altoids, Tic Tacs, Fisherman’s Friend, or Hall’s Mentholyptus — at your own risk. Those who throw caution to the wind should report back here.

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22 Comments on "Altoids as Sex Toy: Fact or Fiction?"

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Vag Infection
5 months 3 days ago

Don’t do it. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m dealing with chronic yeast infections and as soon as my partner and I stopped using them during oral sex the problem stopped occurring. :/

3 years 7 months ago

about the last comment i was that excited that we were going to try it that i didnt say how long iwas going to give it ,( 1 hour ) lmao

3 years 7 months ago

i dont know about altoids but ive been told about fishermans friend work so give it about and the wife will be home from work and we will have a go.

weird dude
4 years 9 months ago

I HIGHLY recommend a mouthful of Wendy’s frosty for an awesome bj. It’s the cold like ice but not too cold or hard. It’s mushy and it sloshes around giving an amazing mix of warm and cold sensations all at once.

5 years 7 months ago

The other thing that’s great for oral is drinking hot tea, imagine a hot mouth. Just be careful not to spill!