Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I have had two dreams now about this guy who I have been attracted to for a while but just recently saw again after a year. I have a fiancé and there is still the “spark” of passion between him and I. But this other guy has this immediate calming wave that happens to me every time he speaks to me or even looks at me. My first dream I was no longer with my fiancé for some reason I am not sure, and I see the guy I’m attracted to at his party. He was with his girlfriend. I ended up at the end of the dream outing her for cheating on him and right before he confessed that he wanted to be with me I woke up. It was 2:30 in the morning so I fell back asleep and dreamed it all over again.
In the second dream I am at some random place that I can’t put my finger on and I am sitting next to him and put my hand on his leg. He immediately moves it to his “package” and tells me that he knows I have been waiting for an invite, so here it is. I was so shocked I didn’t do much, I just kept it there. Then he started to put his hands down my pants while telling me that we are not doing anything wrong. I feel horrible and fall asleep. As soon as I wake up I find out that he had carried me to another room and I immediately felt like I had to leave. But again he told me we weren’t doing anything wrong so I stayed. It was like my mind was saying two different things the whole time. I want him but I know I have to go. What does this mean?
Lauri: Since you recently saw this guy again, it clearly brought up conflicting thoughts and feelings. Through this dream, you are trying to sort it out, which is what our dreams do for us… help us sort things out.
In your first dream you are not with your fiancé because you are safely exploring — in your head — what things might be like if he weren’t in the picture. However, the guilt you are having over this attraction is present in this dream because the girl you are outing for cheating actually represents the part of you that feels you are cheating by having these thoughts that there is a part of you that wants to be with him.
Everything going on in these dreams is all you. Look at all the dialogue in these dreams as a conversation you are having with yourself. The guy is the part of you that likes him, the girlfriend is the part of you that feels guilty for liking him.
Now, in your second dream you are in a place you can’t figure out because in real life you are in a place emotionally that you can’t figure out: engaged but having feelings for someone else. Placing your hand on his package represents you exploring the forbidden fruit! And you keep your hand there because this attraction seems to be “staying there” all this time.
He tells you that you aren’t doing anything wrong because the part of you that is attracted to him is trying to justify your feelings. It is interesting that you fell asleep and woke up in the dream. That can be connected to your feelings for him being “awakened” again after you saw him recently in real life. He carries you into another room because you just might be getting “carried away” with your feelings. You feel you have to leave because the bigger part of you knows you need to leave these thoughts and feelings for him behind. The point at which your dream ends is usually where the most important part of the message is — like a good story, the moral is always at the end. The moral of your dream story is to get yourself out of this emotional conflict ASAP.
Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.
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