Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
A few years ago, I briefly dated this guy (let’s call him X), though we never had sex. We parted mutually after only a few weeks, when it became clear that we were completely incompatible. I am now in a happy, 2-year relationship with a friend of his, with his blessing. So here’s the dream:
X had a one-night stand with an insane girl and was now left with a baby by her, since she was not stable enough to look after it at all. For some reason, even though we aren’t close anymore, he came to me for help. Our interaction with each other and with the child was being watched by a panel of ‘judges’, and with them looking on (to make sure we weren’t ‘inappropriate’) we kissed passionately in a shower and tried to find a private place to have sex. I picked up the baby to feed him; his face was gone, replaced by a smooth white china mask with lumps and indentations where the eyes, nose and mouth should be. We smeared food on the mouth indentation, trying to find a way to feed the baby, but it didn’t work and then the baby disappeared and I knew that I had failed. X then took my hand and we sat in silence for the rest of the dream.
What does this mean?
Lauri: You must be feeling scrutinized in waking life. Who has been judging you or making you feel inadequate? If it’s not anyone around you, then ask yourself if you are the one being too judgmental and critical of yourself.
The baby represents some new element or new responsibility in your life, born out of a confusing, chaotic or “insane” set of circumstances. You are now left holding the bag and apparently are not feeling up to the challenge. Did you reluctantly take on a waking life responsibility that you weren’t prepared for? The baby has no face because you may not have yet “faced” the reality of the situation. I think your dreaming mind chose to use this former boyfriend to illustrate the fact that you have taken on something that you shouldn’t have, something that was not a good match for you.
In the end of the dream, the man takes your hand because your inner self is reminding you that you were probably only trying to “lend a hand” in the first place, so don’t be so hard on yourself. The silence suggests that you may need to speak up about the issue because it seems like there was a certain level of injustice that has happened here.
Response from dreamer: Yes, that makes perfect sense! I was recently dumped with a whole heap of extra responsibility with work, family, and going back to study, and am starting to feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day! I also just started a new job which has been separating me from my close friends more and more due to the chaotic hours, so my support group feels like it’s dwindling. Thanks so much!