Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
In real life, my wonderful relationship with my boyfriend will be ending in about two weeks due to him permanently moving back home, which is on another continent. I dreamt that I was staying at an older family member’s house. There was a guy with me who I knew in my dream was my boyfriend, but was not my waking-life boyfriend. We start fooling around, and I start going down on him. There is a weird ridge around his penis under the head, which I play with. He is close to orgasm when the head comes off at the ridge part, but there is no blood. I freak out, and he calms me down and says “It’s okay, we’ll just put it back on.” I don’t remember what he did to “put it back on”, but it worked. I climbed on top and we started to 69, which ended shortly thereafter with orgasms for both of us.
Lauri: In its own weird and cryptic way, your dream is helping you come to terms with your boyfriend leaving. The reason why there is an unknown boyfriend in this dream rather than your actual boyfriend is because you have probably already – emotionally – begun detaching yourself from him. You’ve probably known for some time that you and your boyfriend would have to say goodbye to each other at some point and now this reality has finally “come to a head,” hence you giving head in the dream. Yes, dreams will use figures of speech and will play on words… a lot! Dreams are a picture language after all.
This is also why the head of the penis comes off. It represents the emotional detachment as well as the actual separation you will have to endure soon. But the boyfriend in the dream tells you that it’s okay. Which is actually you reassuring yourself – through the dream – that it will indeed be okay. The head of the penis is able to go right back on because you know, deep down, that you will be able to get back to normal before too long.
The oral sex, which then ensues, is actually about intimate conversation. Anything involving the mouth in a dream is all about communication and conversation, and your dreaming mind is using oral sex to let you know that a deep and meaningful intimate conversation between you and your boyfriend, before he leaves, would be very gratifying, hence the orgasm. In other words, be sure you let him know how much he has meant to you, what you have learned about yourself from this relationship and so on… let it all out. Like an orgasm, this will give you very satisfying closure.